Contributions from our Members: Re: Sons Attitude Toward Work ... Barbara replies, "We have struggled also --- and still do with one child. I confess I did not pray and teach helpfulness to one's family first. Yet, another child sees and acts and loves almost intuitively."
What a blessing you've received from God as He leads you to teach your own
children! We'd like to give you some help in your quest for information on
homeschooling and getting started.
Above all else pray and follow the leading of God. He will continue
to be faithful in assisting you and your family as you get started with your
homeschooling adventure. You may want to start with these Scriptures
during this important step!
Each state has its own regulations for homeschooling. Find out what your
state's homeschooling laws and regulations are. Contact the Home
School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA - write: P.O. Box 3000,
Purcellville, VA 20134 or call: (540) 338-5600). Get in touch with one of
your state's homeschool associations or a local homeschool support group. (HSLDA
has a list of some for each state.)
Watch your local newspaper for announcements of homeschool events sponsored
by local support groups. Take the time to read some of the wonderful
books written about homeschooling.
Check your local library for these books doing a subject search on "home
schooling" or by checking in sections 371.3 or 649 PAR. There are so
many great homeschooling books available now to help get you started that it
is difficult to name the best. Checking what is available at your library or
local bookstore is a quick way to get reading.
Start researching homeschool curriculum companies and ordering their
catalogs. Check the CHFWeb HomeSchool Mall listings for these resources--many provide an order form for catalogs
Find out if there are any homeschool workshops and/or curriculum fairs in
your area and state. Mark your calendar for these events. Contact a state or
local support group for more information or check out "Homeschooling
Conferences By State" maintained by the Coleman Family.
Find a place for encouragement and support. A local support group is a great
place to get help and make homeschool friends. Also don't forget, the Christian
Homeschool Fellowship Website (CHFWeb) is an online support group that is
always available for you, 24 hours a day! Post a message on the message board
to connect to other homeschooling families and obtain practical tips and
Again, pray and seek the guidance of Our Heavenly Father Who has convicted
you in the first place to teach your own children. He is so faithful and will
continue to lead you and make you strong in your quest to get started in
Here are some Bible verses to get you started in digging into God's Word for help in your homeschooling decision. A wonderful book to use during your preparation for homeschooling is The WholeHearted Child by Clay and Sally Clarkson. Chapter One, "Home Education and You" is a bible study for homeschoolers and potential homeschoolers. Also, Barbara Smith has written a beautiful book titled, Teach Me Lord That I May Teach: What We Learned Homeschooling the Kids, that encourages us all to look to the Lord for wisdom and strength! Remember, "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." - Matthew 6:33 (NKJ)
All your children shall be taught by the Lord,
And great shall be the peace of your children. (NKJ)
Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it. (NKJ)
We will not hide them from their children,
Telling to the generation to come the praises of the Lord,
And His strength and His wonderful works that He has done. (NKJ)
Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid
them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father
of spirits and live? (NKJ)
1 Timothy 3:4
... one who rules his own house well, having his children in
submission with all reverence ... (NKJ)
And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring
them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. (NKJ)
My son, do not forget my law,
But let your heart keep my commands. (NKJ)
"And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.
You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them
when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and
when you rise up. (NKJ)
My son, hear the instruction of your father,
and do not forsake the law of your mother. (NKJ)
He who walks with wise men will be wise,
But the companion of fools will be destroyed. (NKJ)
Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their
children, and their children to the next generation. (NIV)
Other Verses to Consider:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
He shall direct your paths. (NKJ)
"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find;
knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives,
and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man
is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or
if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil,
know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father
who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him! (NKJV)
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to
prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then
you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be
found by you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity.
I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished
you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back to the place from which I
carried you into exile." (NIV)
This is what the Lord says, he who made the earth, the Lord who
formed it and established it-the Lord is his name: "Call to me and I will
answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."
And He has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all
the face of the earth, and has determined their preappointed times and the
boundaries of their dwellings, so that they should seek the Lord, in the
hope that they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from
each one of us; for in Him we live and move and have our being, as also some
of your own poets have said, 'For we are also His offspring.' (NKJ)
Homeschool FAQs Please note: These FAQs were first compiled in 1995, updated
in 1999 ,
and they are still very much applicable for "today's" homeschooler in
2005 and beyond!
Is it legal?
What about socialization?
How do you manage to teach so many children all
How do you have enough patience?
How do you make your kids do their school work?
How do you manage to teach algebra and higher maths
How do you ever have time to do anything else
with your kids there all day?
If you homeschool, how do you manage to do housework too?
Do you ever have any time just for you?
How do you afford all the different homeschool
How do you homeschool with babies, toddlers, preschoolers wanting your attention, too?
How do you know WHAT to teach?
How can homeschoolers get into college?
How do you get by on just one income?
Is there anyway both parents can work and still
How can I get my child to be faithful to do their
assignments without me standing right over them?
Don't you ever just get too tired to homeschool?
How can I get my husband more involved since
he's so busy already?
How do I know which curriculum is best for my
What do I do when it just seems like my child isn't "getting
it" when I am trying to teach him?
How do you make sure you're covering "everything"?
Don't they get bored staying home all the time?
1. Is it legal?
One member answered ... Yes, it is legal in all 50 states, but the laws
regulating it differ in each state. You should get a copy of your state's
homeschooling law. Contact the Home School
Legal Defense Association at HSLDA, P.O. Box 3000, Purcellville, VA
20134, Phone (540) 338-5600. Or contact your state homeschool association
through Teaching Home's State Homeschool Organizations at http://www.teachinghome.com/states/
2. What about socialization?
Sherry answered ... My favorite is to turn the question around and
ask: first, what do you mean by socialization? I get a lot of practice
with this one, since this is one of the two most commonly asked questions
in my neck of the woods (the other is: but are you qualified, because you're
not certified). Asking them the question makes them examine their definitions
and assumptions, and sometimes forces them back to the Bible, eventually.
[For more thoughts on the Biblical definition of "socialization",
the Mark: Socialization vs. Fellowship and Ministry" .]
3. How do you manage to teach so
many children all at once?
Sherry replied ... I get asked this, because of the ages of my kids.
People say but what do you do with the little ones during school? I say,
I include them all. They'll be 3, 5 and 7 this year. Homeschooling is a
modified tutoring method....it is different from regular group instruction
in school. [For examples of how one family with six children homeschooled
with multi-grades, see "Multilevel
4. How do you have enough patience?
Kathy Ridpath shared ... For me, *I* don't have enough patience to teach
my own children, to stay home with them every day of the year, to keep
my house running in a manner that promotes a healthy and loving atmosphere,
etc. I receive my patience from God!!!! It is through His help, His patience
with me, His touches upon our home and our homeschool that patience has
entered our home.
recently gone through quite a bout with stomach problems and after much
prayer and sharing from others, I believe my stomach problems were caused
by stress. The stress that comes from me trying to keep things running
smoothly around here, the stress that comes from *not* depending and resting
in the Lord, the stress that comes from *not* seeking the Holy Spirit's
help and guidance in our home. This past month I have felt much better
and I believe it is because I have started to depend on His work in our
home, His loving presence which stregthens us and the peace we receive
when He overflows us with hope!!
the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts
and minds through Christ Jesus." - Phil 4:7
5. How do you make your kids do
their school work?
Sherry answered ... Make them? LOL -- my kids love school and learning
and books and stuff. I think that's one of the misunderstandings about
homeschooling.....picture Mom with a whip and the circus lions behind her...to
get junior to buckle down and do his math. Recently, a school child asked
their parents to hs them (becoming more common here), and the parent said
no, and then came to me to be talked into it. I didn't realize it at the
time, and I'm not the type to talk them into anything besides child discipling,
but the funniest line was: okay, *how* much time is this gonna take outa
my day? When I described our day, and said that hers might be different,
since she had older kids, she described her day......from trying to get
the kids up at 5:30 to do their hair to get to school on time, to getting
them at 2:35, to getting them to sports, to getting them home, to making
dinner and doing church functions. She said and then we have to do homework
and asked me when my kids do their homework. I told her our schoolwork
*is* our homework right now....and she almost flipped. She said "please
don't tell me that!" (like please don't tell me there's a more enjoyable
6. How do you manage to teach algebra
and higher maths and sciences?
Kim Schumm answered ... For algebra and the maths, make sure you buy the
solution manual! Otherwise find someone competent to teach it. [For additonal
ideas, see "Homeschooling
7. How do you ever have time to
do anything else with your kids there all day?
One member answered ... I know that with my children I have plenty of time
to do other stuff (like that word? couldn't think of what else to call
it) throughout the day. My children naturally want their own time to explore
and play and rest and read. They do not always want and need me hanging
over their every moment. I even have times when I am shooed away so I won't
interfere. You know the moments, child building a house out of blocks,
mother comments, "put that block over there", child turns to
look at mother with exasperated look that says without words, "I want
to do this all by myself, please!"
also found getting up at an early hour helps me to get a jumpstart on everyone
else. I can't stand to get up and having lots of activity already going
on. I feel as though I'm playing catch up for the rest of the day. So my
early start lets me have my absolutely quiet time with the Lord & His
word, get in a brisk morning walk, and possibly get some sort of chore
out of the way, i.e., folding laundry, throwing dinner in the crockpot,
reading the messages here. This takes commitment, but how can that be hard
when we have already committed to the awesome task of teaching our own
way I get time for myself is to take it! If I need to get some special
shopping, time at the library all by myself, to rest peacefully without
bangs & bumps in the background, etc., I take it!! How? I let my dh
know when he gets home or I call him at work to prepare him for my departure
when he returns. I either let him know that I'll be running out to the
store or library or that I would appreciate it if he took the children
fishing or swimming or some other fun activity so I could have some complete
peace & quiet in the house.
stay up late to get control of areas that need it. For example, my homeschool
records needed to be straightened up last week, so on Friday night I worked
on them. I try to limit these late "control" nights though because
I need every bit of energy I can get out of the days!!
8. If you homeschool, how do you
manage to do housework, too?
Sherry confided ... My downfall, but we're working on it. There
are always so many fun things to do. My oldest is very helpful. The youngest
loves to fold clothes. We're making a family time out of hoeing through
each room. I'm up for suggestions on this, too, because our house is project-oriented,
so it's never immaculate all over at any one point. [See "Homeschool
and Housework" for ideas on how to balance it all!]
9. Do you ever have any time just
Nancy Schofeld replied ... I get this one all the time. I found people
either think I'm a saint or a lunatic! I get up at 7:00 a.m and start school
at 9:00. That gives me 2 hours for devotionals, shower, some light housework,
some planning and sometimes I even throw dinner together in this time.
School is out at 2:30, and the afternoon is then mine (or as much as any
mom with children's is! That's 3 1/2 hours til dinner. My children go to
bed (to read, not necessarily to sleep) at 8:00, and I stay up until 11:00
or later. That's another three hours! By curtailing a lot of our extra-curricular
activities, we don't spend a lot of time driving and picking up children,
so I have more than eight hours a day to call my own!
10. How do you afford all the
different homeschool materials?
Sherry suggested ... You can school for nothing if you ask around
and inherit books. Some people spend $1500 a year. But $1500 for four kids,
is a whole lot more affordable than $2000 per year per kid for private
school. It's not a money issue with us -- we'd been saving for Christian
school since before the babies were born, but the savings have helped us
immensely. I know of many people who are paying school tuition, but are
on food pantry programs, do WIC, Visiting Nurses child checkups, etc. It
makes me laugh when they talk about needing a separation between church
and state. The state is already paying tuition for private schools, they
just are paying through food and medical programs. It's not wrong, the
people qualify because of their incomes, but it's really a weird setup.
Tamara Eaton writes: Homeschooling on a Shoestring? We've done it on
It's been our family's experience that GOD will provide for our homeschooling
needs regardless of whether we have a "limited" budget or not.
We have not always had the extra money to set aside funds for homeschooling
curriculum needs, elaborate field trips or classes. There were many years
I made a list of what I thought our needs were, prayed over them, and saw
the Lord adapt or meet the needs in a variety of ways.
Most homeschooling families I know have spent WAY more on homeschooling
curriculum than we ever have...but we have been very blessed by used book
sales (our local libraries have used bookstores which have been a HUGE
blessing), books and resources on sale, and through the years have built
up a very nice home library so it's not always even necessary to buy homeschool
curriculum each year. (Especially when we have materials left over from
homeschooling the older children.)
I could look in homeschooling curriculum catalogs and find all sorts
of "goodies" but they are not *necessary* for our homeschooling
to be successful! So...my advice to those whose budgets ARE limited is
to be content and trust God and don't compare yourselves to others who
have more to spend. God will BLESS your homeschooling and provide ALL your
needs (even if you don't have all the latest homeschool "gadgets and
Also don't get so caught up in buying materials for your children that
you neglect to prepare yourselves as teachers ("Thou therefore which
teachest another, teachest thou not thyself?" --Romans 2:21). Spend
time in prayer, in God's Word, reading good books and articles that would
encourage you in learning HOW to teach your children. )
And above all else: "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and
his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."
11. How do you homeschool with
babies, toddlers, preschoolers wanting your attention, too?
One member replied ... I include them all. When they are tiny, I do school
in short segments around nap schedules. My two year old last year had her
own journal, her own coloring/letter book, her own crayons. She learned
a lot! I see them as little people needing discipling as much as the older
ones. And they learn as much playing at my ankles listening as they do
at the table.
12. How do you know WHAT to teach?
Kathy Ridpath answered ... This is a question that *I* wondered about when
I first started. I had friends offering to share the homework their children
were getting at school because they were worried I would leave something
out of my son's education. There are many homeschooling books which
contain information about which subjects to teach and teaching approaches/methods.
to say though that *we* know as parents what our children need to learn
about. Even more importantly, our children know!! Yes, they really do!
God leads us to homeschool and He doesn't abandon us to this world then.
His guidance continues on throughout the life of our children.
share an example with you. Matt is naturally good at mathematics. He is
naturally "challenged" in language arts though. If I was to stick
with his age/grade level. I would not be challenging him in his math and
I would have him struggling terribly in language arts. It would create
a lot of unnecessary tension in our homeschool. I have allowed him to work
through these subjects at his own rate, at his own potential. Allowing
him to learn this way resulted in some very interesting results on his
standardized test. He was mid-first grade level in language, beginning
3rd grade level in reading, and mid-4th grade level in math. As his parent,
I could get worried about his language results, but I can't because I see
the effort is there and with time he will improve in this area at his own
so everyone knows we have to teach the children the 3 R's, but how about
all that other stuff. This is where your own family's interests will play
a big part. For our family, we do a lot of unit studies and interest studies.
We also enjoy history. We will definitely cover other subjects like the
arts and foreign languages, but these will not be the "core"
of our homeschool.
13. How can homeschoolers get
Kim Schumm answered ... There are several options. THey definitely should
take the SAT/ACT or both. They can enroll as a special student and then
use those grades to become a regular student. They can go the GED route.
They can just apply to a college using a transcript and portfolio of their
work. Many colleges will accept students based upon their transcript, ACT/SAT
scores, and completion of the college application.
14. How do you get by on just
From Tamara Eaton ... Some of the ways we manage to get by with one income...
Matt.6:33, our "life" verse. Without the Lord, I don't know
HOW we'd do it.
We don't drive new vehicles. One of these days the kids will be grown
and we can always invest in one of those "dream vehicles". (On
the other hand, I hope that if the Lord tarries, our children will be frequently
bringing our grandchildren to visit and we might decide to keep those big
vans so we can cart them around.)
We don't buy expensive clothing...we plan our wardrobes, usually stick
to classics, purchase things on sale, and never refuse used clothing or
hand-me-downs unless they don't fit or we really don't need them. The Lord
blesses us in so many unexpected ways...for example, in the past year when
I lost weight, my mom's good friend gained weight. She always buys classic
styles of excellent quality, really expensive brands, too. She gave me
all her outgrown clothes! We pray for our needs to be supplied and then
just rejoice in the Lord's faithfulness to us!
We rarely eat out, instead we make it fun to prepare together easy
meals that are treats. We make homemade pizzas that are actually better
tasting than takeout, and they are much more nutritious.
We buy groceries in bulk when possible, and stock up on meat when it
is on sale. We don't run out to the grocery store just to pick up an item
or two, but plan our trips...making do if we run out of something, if possible.
We also plan outings to conserve gas.
We buy a lot of items used...furniture, vcrs, etc.
We don't spend much on entertainment or travel...our kids are our entertainment!
We enjoy games as a family, singing together, doing "old-fashioned"
things like making homemade doughnuts together and popping popcorn. (OK,
we use the microwave kind of popcorn...so we cheat a little there.<grin>)
When we entertain, we do it family-style!
We almost never take vacations. This we hope to change one of these
days especially now that our little ones are bigger. Still, several times
a year we take "mini-vacations" by either going somewhere not
too far for us for day trips, or by staying home on a weekend and turning
off the phone, and planning lots of fun foods, activities, etc. together
as a family. No chores are done...we only pick up after ourselves, use
paper plates for meals, etc. It has been a big hit and our kids ask us
when we plan the next vacation! If we have extra money at that time, we
might eat out a meal (brunch is a favorite!) and/or give the kids some
cash and take them on a shopping trip somewhere kind of different.
When something is broken or not working, we try to repair it ourselves
instead of calling in the "professionals".<g> This is great
experience for all of us, including the kids who are learning basic household
repairs. My teen son even repairs appliances, the riding lawn mower, furniture,
We barter when we can! William and Micah have done this a lot with
computers and equipment. Micah bartered his time putting together a computer
(it took him 2 1/2 hours) for a laser printer that works perfectly. He
also was able to "purchase" a riding lawn mower (his regular
chore was mowing grass!) by working it off on a farm doing chores and repairing
These are just some of the ways we save money! I hope others will jump
in with their ideas here. Our lifestyle is comfortable even though we do
have our trials when it comes to finances...still we wouldn't trade our
life with six happy kids for anything!
15. Is there anyway both parents
can work and still homeschool?
Julia Allen writes,
I homeschooled for a full year while both my husband and I worked full-time.
It can be done if you have a reliable person to care for the kids during
the day (we live with my mother-in-law) and you are willing to be very
flexible. Homeschooling can be done at any time of the day or night - I
did some of my homeschooling after work in the evenings and some on the
weekends. If your kids work well independently and you use a curriculum
that lends itself to requiring minimal instruction from the teacher, you
can have them accomplish much of the work while you are working as
well. My boys did math, language arts, and penmenship while I worked. Together
we studied social studies, science, etc. I was determined not to put them
back in school, so we made the commitment to make it work. After one year,
we had paid off all our debts, so now I can be home with them. -- Julia
From Brenda Rath ... My dh is a pilot for an air ambulance company, and
at best, the aviation industry can be kind of fickle. It is in our best
interest to keep my nursing license in good standing. So our Dad is more
than just principal - he will be "substitute teacher" when I
work. I only work 3 or 4 days a month, and only when my dh is "off
the beeper". If the days that I work happen to be "school days",
then Dad is on! We have been blessed with the flexibility of nursing. With
the exception of being oversees, I have always been able to find work,
as much or as little as I wanted, and still fit it in to my dh's unusual
16. How can I get my child to
be faithful to do their assignments without me standing right over them?
Tamara Eaton replied ... While some children are more naturally self-motivated
than others, all have some degree of inner motivation (although it may
not be obvious at first). All children also need training to help them
become more responsible and self-motivated learners. Here is a list of
helpful principles and tips to establish good habits: "Let's
Get Motivated! Encouraging Self-Motivated Learners"
17. Don't you ever just get too
tired to homeschool?
From Sherry... Nope, I treat it as my most important job. I do
allow flexibility -- start school early, double up days, so that we take
sick days, snow days, here and there, and can take off if a great idea
comes from grammie (the science museum? sure!!) Some people school lightly
year round, some do four weeks on, one week off; or eight weeks on, two
weeks off; some take the whole month of December off.
From Kathy Ridpath ... YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do get tired and I am learning
to listen to this. I take a break then and there. I rest, pray, read, play,
relax, and goof off. We need to do this to refresh our minds and our bodies.
We need these times to get ourselves back on focus, back with commitment,
back with faith!!!
example, back in early July (I think or was it late June? <g>) we
started our Flight unit study. I was not feeling well, I was feeling very
exhausted. Well, I had decided what I needed was to jump into a project
such as Flight! WRONG!!!! After a test "flight" of Flight, I
put it aside and rested my body, mind, and soul. I did some preparations
for starting Flight when we would be ready physically, mentally, and emotionally.
So we started it up again (this is our 3rd week) and this time was the
to be aware of our energy level, our enthusiasm level, and *believe* that
if we have to put something off, the Lord will get us going when His time
18. How can I get my husband more
involved since he's so busy already?
From homeschool dad Steve Linebarger ... I have to admit that my wife does
practically all the planning and such for homeschooling our children.
husband, I have to say that I am very tired at the end of the day and don't
look forward to having the extra responsibility of teaching. I have other
chores to tend to.
last seven years our children have been homeschooled I have taught two
courses. The motivating factor was the fact that I enjoyed the subject
matter and excelled to a small extent in these areas.
oldest daughter's handwriting was in desperate need of some improvement.
Having recently practiced the art of calligraphy I found myself teaching
her Gothic Black Letter calligraphy. Each day or two we would work on a
different letter and every week or so I would have her write out the letters
of the alphabet she had learned so far.
oldest daughter reached Pre-Algebra my wife found it a little difficult
to explain to her when she had trouble. I enjoyed math in high school and
college and saw this as an opportunity to teach as well as brush up on
my math skills.
the you should find your husbands strong points. Point them out to him
and ask that he teach them to your child(ren).
19. How do I know which curriculum
is best for my family?
You may want to read the article on the Favorite Tips webpage called Choosing
Curriculum by Tamara Eaton.
Carole Lacefield suggested ... First of all, realize that there is no
perfect curriculum. It's all just a tool, and you can probably use just
about anything if you're able to mold it to your family. However, I'm constantly
reading books, magazines and catalogs, looking for better ways to teach.
It's a learning process for the teacher that is on-going. I like to experiment
with resources that sound great, and if they really don't work, I'll just
get something else. I can either use it with my next child who has a totally
different learning style or sell it and only be out a little bit of money.
As Mary Pride says, it's an investment in wisdom in any event. But to someone
just starting out, I would say to read as much as you can get your hands
on, then make a decision and stick with it for one year. You can switch
to something else next year.
20. What do I do when it just
seems like my child isn't "getting it" when I am trying to teach
Kathy Ridpath shared ... I was so excited yesterday when my son had a breakthrough
on a math concept he has been struggling with. He was getting frustrated
and wouldn't let me help. Finally I took away his book very gently. I sat
him down and asked him simple questions about place values and eventually
worked up to the technique they were trying to teach him (front-end estimation.)
Then I backed off and let him take it on his own. He struggled a little
then suddenly he started shouting out the answers!!
one of those moments when you feel God's work so powerfully in your homeschool.
He helped me remain calm and gentle with my son, He helped my son be humble
enough to let his mom help <vbg>, He gave me the right way to build
a better foundation for this lesson, He pulled me back when I had completed
my part, and He gave my son that drive to master this lesson. It was so
neat! (I know it was only one small trick for doing math, but it was so
21. How do you make sure you're
From Carole Lacefield ... You won't!!!!! It's better to instill a love
for learning in your children and teach a few things well than to cram
a multitude of facts into their heads and have them never want to look
at a book again after they graduate! They'll learn more than enough doing
the 3 R's and including quality books in their routine.
22. Don't they get bored staying
home all the time?
Nancy Schofeld answered ... You mean in comparison to sitting at a desk
in the same classroom doing pages and pages of worksheets, reading "sound
bite" pieces of trivialized history, watered down literature, and
science from a book rather than from God's laboratory?! <bg< Actually,
who stays home?! We're at the library, in the swamp, in the woods, at the
museum and wherever else our studies take us.
Do you know why he does not want you to homeschool? What are his concerns?
Will you be quitting a job?
I faced a similar attitude in my husband. I did all the reading and kept
trying to convince him. The hardest part of it all was accepting that he was the
head of our house and the decision was his to make. I had to accept this in my
heart and then determine that I would follow his decision and support him - not
be bitter, etc. This was the first thing needed.
Next I thought about his concerns, one by one. How would homeschooling change
things? What things could I do to help with these concerns?
I wrote out a list and realistically addressed them. Kind of like a pro
and con list. I listed all the pros I saw, as well, and the info to support
them. This was not easy to do, as I wanted to load it with persuasive speech,
but felt God wanted me to be objective and fair.
I gave the whole thing to my husband, and said, honey, this is something I
would really like to do, its very much on my heart - I wrote these things out so
you will know I'm aware of your concerns and you can know how I feel, but we'll
do what you decide.
I do not know whether he read it - or if God just moved on his heart without
it. He said he was wary - but if I felt that way, he felt he could trust me. He
said life is full of regrets, and he did not want to be the reason I did not
follow my heart. It was a step of faith for him, but he has supported us. I do
not know how long we will school, and am always aware that should he want them
back in school - that is where they will go. If it comes to that - my trust is
in God and I will not be afraid. It is a good place to be. I know it meant a lot
to my husband that I did not argue with him, but rather asked him to please
consider my thoughts and told him I would support his decision.
Subject: I'm a Dad who also opposed the idea. (Long)
On: Friday, 22 October 1999 at 9:54 pm
Our son is 4. We had some time before a final decision had to be made, so maybe our situation was different. On the other hand, maybe a male perspective would help here.
1. My wife was very interested, but I had a lot of doubts. She didn't nag, threaten, or in any way make me feel that our future happiness depended on me "giving in". She did state her opinion, and left the decision to me.
2. I'm results oriented. Saying that she wanted to keep him at home wasn't enough. Pointing out that homeschool children, on average, score significantly better than public school children on scholastic testing run by the state carried a lot of weight.
3. We had many non-confrontational discussions about our values, and compared and contrasted those to the values taught (intentionally or otherwise) in public schools. After this discussion, we were sure that public school was not an option. We would either homeschool or apply to a private Christian school.
4. Let's face it. Money comes into play in many decisions that we make. We factored in the loss of income from her not having a job (not really that big a factor when one considers the appalling marginal tax rates in this country), the cost of a private education (shocking, even for pre-K programs in our area), and the cost for materials to educate at home. A reasoned, realistic approach is called for here. Don't try to cook the books to support your position. Additionally, she does do some paying work from home, and it helps. Even if she only clears $100 or so a month, that generally covers the cost of the educational materials.
5. I needed to be better informed on the difference between keeping your child at home and educating your child at home. BIG DIFFERENCE. Knowing that there was a daily plan for what our son would be doing each day helped me to see that this was not a case of him just hanging around the house. Now I participate in the planning process, and even do some of the schooling. My son's favorite: The "Plus" Game (aka flash cards).
6. I had the notion that homeschoolers were all a bunch of anti-government
conspiracists...out of the mainstream...wacko's. For the uninformed public, I think this is a stigma that homeschoolers have. Then I met another guy, quite by accident, who was a homeschool dad. He was just a normal guy who thought that this was the best way to educate his children. The more homeshoolers I met the more I realized that these were not isolated hermits with no contact with the outside world. They were average, everyday Americans who wanted what was best for their kids. Actually, they were way better than average. They were, themselves, well educated, very aware of their rights and responsibilities as citizens, very informed on political issues and avid voters, and involved in their communities to a much greater than average degree.
7. We decided to do a trial run by doing a pre-K at home. I've become a believer. My 4 year old son is reading (not War and Peace...we do 100 Easy Lessons), doing simple sums, easy science projects (putting beans in a jar and watching the seeds sprout) and has developed a love of learning that I find surprising and very
satisfying. Maybe a trial run will be a good compromise for you, too.
Wow, this has been longer than I intended it to be. Whatever your decision, I hope things turn out well for your family.
The past few days we've been watching the approach of Hurricane Bonnie. What a difference experience makes ... experience doesn't make much of a difference. What do I mean?
Two years ago, North Carolina had a double whammy hurricane season, and was particularly hit hard by Hurricane Fran. Fran was devastating and, in some ways, North Carolina is still recovering from it. But Hurricane Fran did alert people. For the past two years, a lot has been done to be better prepared for a hurricane, including educating citizens and having better emergency procedures. This state was ready for Hurricane Bonnie. What a difference experience makes.
Today, Hurricane Bonnie came ashore. She seems to be a slow, plodding, determined, big hurricane. She has been and will be destructive. We can't prevent her forward progress, her high winds, her flooding rains, her storm surge, her path--which spells terrible destruction & erosion for the coastal area. North Carolina knew Bonnie was coming and couldn't stop her. Experience doesn't make much of a difference.
Hurricane Bonnie will leave North Carolina in the next day or two. She'll leave behind destruction, but there will be people here to rebuild. The coastal areas won't be the same. Lessons will be learned, new procedures put in place, new experiences that will affect the way people react the next time a hurricane comes this way.
What's my point? (IOW, why is this post in the Homeschool section? *grin*) I was thinking about some of the messages I've been reading from homeschoolers going through some tough times with their homeschool. It seems like a hurricane is in our midst. When it comes to homeschooling -- What a difference experience makes ... experience doesn't make much of a difference.
We can learn from past homeschooling experiences, whether it is our own or through others that share, but, even if we are prepared, we can't stop the trials that will come.
In _The Valley of Vision_, a collection of Puritan prayers & devotions compiled by Arthur Bennett, one of the prayers has this beautiful quote ...
Keep me sensible of my weakness,
and of my dependence upon thy strength.
Let every trial teach me more of thy peace,
more of thy love.
from the prayer titled "Grace In Trials".
Be prepared, learn from experience, and do not be surprised by these trials. Take some time to meditate on the following Scripture:
Are you surprised that you are having a difficult time?
1 Peter 4:12-13
Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.
Are you worried?
Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.
Are you afraid?
He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is fixed, trusting in the LORD. His heart is established, he shall not be afraid
Are you feeling weak, inadequate?
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.
Do you feel like quitting?
forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
Do you wonder why you are doing this?
Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
We watched a show recently about barrier islands. These islands are literally shifting piles of sand. Imagine building your home on one of these islands. Steadily beneath your home, the sand, upon which you've laid your home's foundation, is shifting. One hurricane can take out your foundation and send your house toppling into the sea.
Our "homes" are thankfully built on the Rock, on the firm foundation of Jesus Christ and His Word. When a "hurricane" comes against you with high winds and drenching rain, threatening to knock out your foundation and send you tumbling into the raging ocean, you should be reminded of what Jesus said ...
"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."
Jesus sure knew what a hurricane was like.
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
None of These Things Move Me ... Circumstances change and are sometimes confusing, but God's Word is utterly reliable, unchanging and relevant for every area of our lives, and His love and devotion to us never wavers. I'm reminded once again that all we really need is Jesus.