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Home » CHFWeb Forum » TitusTwo » Today we said good-bye to our last little one after 15
Today we said good-bye to our last little one after 15 [message #817362] Mon, 27 June 2016 17:51 Go to next message
ReneeL.inMN
Messages: 4774
Registered: April 2005
Senior Member
years of providing care to children and hopefully blessing their birth/adoptive families in the process. It was a joint decision this time and while it's good, it's leaving me wondering, "Who am I"?

For 15 years, in church, in town, in the neighborhood, in co-ops, I have been "a foster mom" with various much loved little ones.

Who am I now?

I have been steadily donating items as our last one no longer needed them so I'm left with some to donate, but not much. I have boxes and boxes of records to read through at a later date when I can do it without crying.

I don't know how many children we have loved in the last 15 years and have had many people ask me. I never wanted to look at a child and think, "oh, you're number 17" but now I want to know.

But, driving home today and in talking with the dear new mom of our last little, we were talking about "who am I" now and I just don't know.

[Updated on: Mon, 27 June 2016 17:52]


ReneeL.inMN
25yos, 23yos, 13 yod I guess I am old enough for adult children.

My stomach hurts, but I still choose joy! :-)

Re: Today we said good-bye to our last little one after 15 [message #817364 is a reply to message #817362 ] Mon, 27 June 2016 19:10 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Lisa T.  is currently offline Lisa T.
Messages: 5496
Registered: April 2005
Location: New Hampshire
Senior Member
(((Renee)))

Give yourself a little time to adjust, and to say goodbye to that part of your life. Being a foster mom, a birth mom, or even a teacher is not an identity. It is just one service that you, a beautiful daughter of the Most High God, have done out of love for others.

We had a guest preacher at church last night, and he said an interesting thing. He pointed out that when we give our lives to service, we can wall off our true heart in assuming the identity of "server". We hide our own needs, our own selves, and become our service: nurse, teacher, mother, caregiver, friend, confidant. Jesus wants to live in our authentic heart, but we can't even recognize ourselves outside of our server identity. This is why Christ Himself so often sought out a quiet place to pray--to reconnect with His authentic Self in relationship with the Father.

Here is a wonderful opportunity for you: to spend some time rediscovering Renee's hidden heart. What are your many gifts? What do you love the most? What parts of you have you put aside, neglected, forgotten, or lost while you were doing the marvelous service of foster parenting? Now is the time for some recreation...literally the re-creation of yourself! God will surely do this work in your heart if you remain open to the Spirit. In time you will find new joy and freedom as your spirit is renewed.


Lisa T.
Re: Today we said good-bye to our last little one after 15 [message #817365 is a reply to message #817362 ] Mon, 27 June 2016 19:21 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Jen E.  is currently offline Jen E.
Messages: 4522
Registered: April 2005
Location: Northeast
Senior Member
Oh, Renee. I hope you take time to grieve. Just as we grieve when each child leaves, you have much to grieve now. Love and hugs and prayers, my friend. Come stay w/ me if / when you need to run away and hide for awhile -- I'm an hr. from DC now.
Re: Today we said good-bye to our last little one after 15 [message #817422 is a reply to message #817362 ] Mon, 04 July 2016 09:12 Go to previous message
ReneeL.inMN
Messages: 4774
Registered: April 2005
Senior Member
Lisa and Jen,

Thank you.


ReneeL.inMN
25yos, 23yos, 13 yod I guess I am old enough for adult children.

My stomach hurts, but I still choose joy! :-)

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