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Home » CHFWeb Forum » TitusTwo » What do you need to be happy?
What do you need to be happy? [message #812735] Sat, 11 July 2015 07:31 Go to next message
Lisa T.  is currently offline Lisa T.
Messages: 5542
Registered: April 2005
Location: New Hampshire
Senior Member
Last night I had a conversation with one of the bridesmaids in my nephew's wedding. She was a very intense young woman in her late 20's. She asked me what the secret is for a long and happy marriage. She has a graduate degree in sociology, and said she was searching for her "knight in shining armor.

We had a very long talk (and I tried a bit to help her recognize that the knight she is waiting for doesn't exist!) She comes from a broken home, so you can imagine her perspective! She kept quoting sociological studies about what makes a marriage last.

Toward the end of our conversation, we were talking about what a person really needs to be happy...She was ready to agree that a lot of material wealth is not necessary for happiness. I said that in fact I know lots of people who are happy with only a very basic shelter, barely enough food to eat, and one or two outfits to wear. Running water and electricity are optional for happiness.

She gave that some thought and then said that really all that is needed is a healthy body. I pointed out that as we age, we can't really rely on that, either.

It's all about Love.

In fact, there's only One Love that really counts for true happiness. Everything else is optional.

I think she was a bit stunned...

What is it that you need to be happy?

Lisa T.
Re: What do you need to be happy? [message #812743 is a reply to message #812735 ] Sun, 12 July 2015 17:59 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Lisa R.  is currently offline Lisa R.
Messages: 14918
Registered: April 2005
Location: Georgia
Senior Member

Sounds like an excellent conversation.

I think you're right. Paul talked about being content in whatever our circumstances.

We are financially struggling right now in a way that is very frustrating for. If I focus on that I get stressed and uptight. It's like Peter walking on the water...when he focused on the Lord, he was fine, but when he stared at the waves, he started sinking.

For me, when I keep my focus on the Lord, I have joy. I can sort of differentiate between joy and happiness, in that happiness seems more of a temporal mood than the deep abiding joy of the Lord.

But, really, that's it. I went to a graduation party for a young friend today. I mingled and talked with a number of people, all of whom asked how I was doing. I answered honestly that I am fine. Because I am. I had a lovely afternoon and would consider it a happy day. But I wasn't dwelling on my bank account all afternoon. That is temporal. My eternity is secure in the Lord, and that's what really matters.

Is that sort of what you mean?

Lisa R.
Re: What do you need to be happy? [message #812754 is a reply to message #812735 ] Mon, 13 July 2015 10:16 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Rosemary-MI  is currently offline Rosemary-MI
Messages: 1322
Registered: April 2005
Location: Lower mid Michigan
Senior Member
I am happiest when I feel valued.

I think in any circumstance be it work, home, your church family, you need to feel valued. I get discontented when I don't feel valued. My dh is struggling with work right now because he doesn't feel valued at all.

God values me but sometimes I need to feel it from others.


I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
Re: What do you need to be happy? [message #812907 is a reply to message #812735 ] Tue, 21 July 2015 00:09 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Sparrow's Song
Messages: 971
Registered: April 2005
Senior Member
Happy is such a relative term; like Lisa said, Paul learned to be content in every circumstance, and was it he who also said to consider it pure joy when we face trials of various kinds? We really have to adjust our perspective and lead our feelings in order to feel joy/happiness at times. I think true happiness is being able to see everything in life from God's perspective, knowing that He is in complete control and wants what's best for us.

I also agree with Rosemary... feeling valued goes a long way in making me feel contented. And the value God places on us fills that.

Sparrow's Song

Love divine has seen and counted
Every tear it caused to fall;
And the storm which Love appointed
Was its choicest gift of all...

Re: What do you need to be happy? [message #813052 is a reply to message #812735 ] Wed, 29 July 2015 15:23 Go to previous messageGo to next message
chenoa  is currently offline chenoa
Messages: 76
Registered: May 2005
Location: Now in GA
to be honest and its not a deep serious thing,but....sleep. I can have consistent joy in the Lord even if things are just going horribly wrong,but happiness I attribute to how much sleep I get.
when I am tired I am UNHAPPY and that makes everyone else in my life unhappy. I become incredible depressed, foggy heady, emotional, irritated, my perspective gets horribly skewed. yikes, the list goes on.
When I get like that especially the depressed part I KNOW I have NOTHING to be depressed over, or cry over, complain or be angry over. I just need to go to bed,even for 20 min and reset my system. weird but after 40+ years I finally get it and I don't have to blame by circumstances or loved ones for my misery anymore Wink
Re: What do you need to be happy? [message #813120 is a reply to message #813052 ] Mon, 03 August 2015 12:49 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Penny_@35ThousandFeet  is currently offline Penny_@35ThousandFeet
Messages: 849
Registered: April 2005
Senior Member

In the sense of the Flesh...I am happy when I am flying and the passengers are agreeable and I have a good crew and I sit back in my jump seat and think I get paid to have fun. I waited so long to do this job, and I worked so hard to get it and I work so hard to keep it. I am happy when after four days I can grab my suitcase and go home to Gen and then see Lord M. I love charging out of the jet bridge knowing I am going to see 'family'. I love being 35,000 feet in the air, I love the sunrise and sunsets from the top, I love flying over the rocky mountains and thinking God uses these for his foot stools. I love flying over the ocean and thinking how vast it all is....I get all happy then. I feel His Joy in me when I fly and all of the above. I really do feel His pleasure in me that He gave me this job that I am fashioned to do. I feel His Pleasure in His Will. Even when something goes wrong, I know that it still is His will for me to experience this for what ever learning that is involved. I know He will take me through it.

I am not making a lot of money..in fact I am in the poverty level as it is, but I am rich in spirit and in joy and money can't buy that.
Re: What do you need to be happy? [message #814285 is a reply to message #812735 ] Fri, 16 October 2015 16:27 Go to previous message
denise d
Messages: 6330
Registered: April 2005
Senior Member
The short answer is: LOVE

and that's really all that needs to be said. Lisa, you nailed it.

But just for fun.....

I read an article and part of a study about happiness....the summation was that money can buy happiness up to $75,000/year. After that, you are on your own.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/17/map-happiness-bench mark_n_5592194.html

That is really not the key, though I know that people who are not in that income bracket might think, well it might help.

What I believe, how "Love" brings happiness....with number one at the top and the others interchangeable. I am using "you", not to be preachy, but it just came out that way. Please know that while my genes dictate Pollyanna, I have taken a few knocks in life, and I know what it's like to be miserable..this is what works for me:

1. Love God. Experience God's Love. Faith in God (since I am Christian, as most of you all are, it is my belief in Christ and the peace that comes with that). That assurance is the biggest step anyone can make in the right direction.

2. Love yourself. Self acceptance. There is a lot of power in this...it does not mean thinking that you can do whatever selfish thing you want (sins, etc). It means understanding the value that you have in this world, even if your thighs are chunky like all that chocolate you love(like mine) or you never were good at hula hooping (that, too) ..whatever thing that is not perfect, today is a good day to be okay with it and be okay with yourself.

Change it if you want to or can.....but don't let it be a thing that keeps you from self-acceptance. Get past it. God loves you just the way you are. Jesus died for you just the way you are. That is the place to look for validation. You should not be looking to another person for that. And with that, take care of yourself as you would someone you, well, love.

And that will help you to stop thinking about yourself all the time. And free you up to...

3. Love others. Serving others. Having a sense of purpose. Most people don't get this, and really it is a very big deal. Anytime I do something for another person, it makes me happy. Really happy. A small burst of happiness when I see the chance to make someone's day better by giving them a couple of pennies at the checkout or grab a cart for a lady who took 15 minutes to get out of her car and into the front of a store....or a big fat crying fit when I have my eyes open and see an opportunity to do something that REALLY makes a difference in another person's life.

I am supposed to be writing an assignment, and this is another way I am avoiding it. Please forgive typos. I will come back and check later.....edited to add article link and fix a few typos.

[Updated on: Fri, 16 October 2015 19:49]

God is Love.
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