Welcome to CHFWeb.com  The Christian Homeschool Fellowship on the WEB
Quick Start
[Support our Advertisers!] Getting Started on the Homeschooling BUS!
SheLaughed.com
CHFWeb Forum Area Articles of Significance on CHFWeb.com CHFWeb Mall --For all your resource needs! Library Area on CHFWeb.com Advertise Contact Us
CHFWeb Help!
[Support our Advertisers!] Contributions from our Members:   "The Secret of Mothering" ... [H]er solution was to first be happy herself, to do what she believed best for herself and for others no matter what criticism she might receive. For a Christian mother, it does start with herself; it starts with her relationship with the Lord. [Support our Advertisers!]
Home » CHFWeb Forum » TitusTwo » Grrr... It has happened again
Grrr... It has happened again [message #816123] Wed, 09 March 2016 17:33 Go to next message
praise2christ  is currently offline praise2christ
Messages: 2162
Registered: August 2009
Location: Northern KY
Senior Member
Ladies, I posted something similar on the FB page back in December and thought I had worked it all out. Now, it is happening again and I need some advice on how to approach this.

My virtual assisting client (K) has, once again, assumed that I have done something I did not and I need to address it. I am going to relay her text exactly except for a name change for client privacy reasons:

Text 1:
Quote:

ASAP
You confirmed Jane Smith. Why???? No Pet info, no payment info, no service since 2012. This cannot happen again.


Text 2 (Immediately after the previous text):
Quote:

Please reach her. Her cell does not work/invalid.


I responded:
Quote:

I did not confirm any appointments for her. The only PS (pet sit) I confirmed yesterday was for Jones.



Followed by:
Quote:

Looks like the confirmation was sent at 10:46am. I was not working during that time.


I sent that after I double-checked my activity report (an Excel file I keep to track exactly what actions I have taken for every single client), my time log (a website I use to track my time), and my texts that I sent for work reasons (almost every action I do requires a text confirming that it was done).

Also, nothing like this has happened before unless it was in the very first weeks of me working for her when I was still very confused about the whole process (I really can't remember for sure). But, her text seems to imply that it has.

Back in December K thought that I sent a clients' username and password to another client. But, she was the one who did it. She was able to find the email and that she had done this, but only after initially accusing me of doing it. I think this link will take you to that post if you want to know more: https://www.facebook.com/groups/152572184793466/permalink/10 27587760625233/

After the incident in December, we had a talk and she has been much more hands-off on the stuff that is my responsibility and this has made everything run much more smoothly. We also went over my process and my schedule and she seemed happy with what I was doing.

Since then, I have received almost nothing but praise for how I am doing. She often says she doesn't know what she would do without me and that I am doing a wonderful job. But, this text makes me feel as if I am completely failing. I feel like, if she really thinks I'm doing well, she should give me the benefit of the doubt and ask me about it rather than accusing.

I'm at a loss for how to respond and what steps I can take to avoid accusations like this in the future. How would you ladies respond?




Stacy, mom to 12-year-old boy/girl twins and a three-year-old boy.

"Every man's life is a fairy tale written by God's finger." Hans Christian Andersen
Re: Grrr... It has happened again [message #816124 is a reply to message #816123 ] Wed, 09 March 2016 17:41 Go to previous messageGo to next message
PamE
Messages: 3765
Registered: April 2005
Location: AZ (but it's a DRY heat!)
Senior Member
Ugh. Confused I think in the future you should immediately call her (instead of texting back) so that you can work through it right then and there. Talk her through you walking through your activity report, time log and texts.

I worked for someone in the past and had similar issues and a lot of the time it was just that she had a TON on her mind and her plate at all times and she would talk first and think it through later. It was more of issue of how she processed things rather than an issue of my work. Not sure if your boss is the same, but if you're doing the right things then this is on her. Don't carry guilt for something that's not yours to begin with. I'm sorry it's an uncomfortable situation when these things crop up. If you do text back you might just ask if she wants to see your call/time/text logs for the time in question.

Edited to add: There may not be a way to avoid situations like this in the future if this is just the way she is. Confused It might be more advisable to come up with a standard response.

[Updated on: Wed, 09 March 2016 17:43]


I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. ~Phil 3:13-14~
Re: Grrr... It has happened again [message #816125 is a reply to message #816123 ] Thu, 10 March 2016 06:45 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Lisa R.  is currently offline Lisa R.
Messages: 14912
Registered: April 2005
Location: Georgia
Senior Member

The phone or face-to-face would be something like,

You know, Susie, we had a situation like this back in December, where you accused first and checked facts later. I find it very stressful to get texts making a statement followed by emphatic questions about why when the statement was untrue. It would be so much less stressful on me if you would consider my work record overall when you first come upon something odd like this alleged confirmation with Smith. Rather than, "you did this. why?" it would work better for me if you gave me benefit of the doubt, which I believe I have earned, and said, "It looks like there was a confirmation with Smith. Do you know anything about that?" I can then check my records and help sort through what happened without the overwhelming sense of failure that your initial sharp accusation and reprimand brings. I am more than happy to take responsibility for all my actions in reference to my job, but I am very frustrated by this jumping to wrong conclusions, and having to sort through in a panic over something that I didn't do. And when I am wrong or do make a mistake, you can be assured that I will take full responsibility.

If it happens again, I'd basically repeat that. "The last two times this happened, the records showed it was not my issue. Can you please ask first, let me sort out the records, and then, if I'm found to be guilty, we'll deal with it at that time. My track record indicates that your harshness is not justified, and I'd appreciate the courtesy of having the benefit of the doubt."

[Updated on: Thu, 10 March 2016 06:47]


Blessings,
Lisa R.
Re: Grrr... It has happened again [message #816128 is a reply to message #816123 ] Thu, 10 March 2016 07:36 Go to previous messageGo to next message
janetR  is currently offline janetR
Messages: 1937
Registered: March 2010
Location: TX
Senior Member
I agree with Pam's assessment of your boss, mostly because it hits a little too close to home. Although I learned a long time ago to check facts before actually blaming, for some reason my thoughts instantly blame someone else (human nature?) and I have to tell myself that it was probably me.

I like how Lisa's conversation gets at the heart of the issue, but depending on your relationship with your boss it may be a little too blunt. I would start the conversation by assuring her of my willingness to accept responsibility for my actions, but "it would really help me if you ask me about situations first before assuming that I did something wrong."


JanetR
daughter of the King since 1980
wife to dh since 1981
mom to five of the most incredible adults on the planet, one wonderful 18yo, and grandma to two bouncy grandsons
Re: Grrr... It has happened again [message #816129 is a reply to message #816123 ] Thu, 10 March 2016 09:16 Go to previous messageGo to next message
praise2christ  is currently offline praise2christ
Messages: 2162
Registered: August 2009
Location: Northern KY
Senior Member
Thanks, ladies. She, thankfully, did believe me and when she looked into it, she was able to see that she was the one who had confirmed the reservation. It was consistent with the time-frame she was in the office and doing other things. She still doesn't remember confirming the reservation, though.

This is part of the reason I wish she would leave these things for me. I keep records of everything I do. She never does. So, I can look back and see a list of actions I've taken that day while she has to rely on her memory.

I am going to pray about what I should say and if I should say anything more. Thank you for all your advice!


Stacy, mom to 12-year-old boy/girl twins and a three-year-old boy.

"Every man's life is a fairy tale written by God's finger." Hans Christian Andersen
Re: Grrr... It has happened again [message #816132 is a reply to message #816123 ] Thu, 10 March 2016 09:30 Go to previous messageGo to next message
PamE
Messages: 3765
Registered: April 2005
Location: AZ (but it's a DRY heat!)
Senior Member
I'm glad that this incident has been resolved at least!


I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. ~Phil 3:13-14~
Re: Grrr... It has happened again [message #816138 is a reply to message #816129 ] Thu, 10 March 2016 12:20 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Jamie
Messages: 4101
Registered: April 2005
Senior Member
praise2christ wrote on Thu, 10 March 2016 09:16

Thanks, ladies. She, thankfully, did believe me and when she looked into it, she was able to see that she was the one who had confirmed the reservation. It was consistent with the time-frame she was in the office and doing other things. She still doesn't remember confirming the reservation, though.

This is part of the reason I wish she would leave these things for me. I keep records of everything I do. She never does. So, I can look back and see a list of actions I've taken that day while she has to rely on her memory.

I am going to pray about what I should say and if I should say anything more. Thank you for all your advice!

I'm glad this was resolved. I only came across your original post a moment ago and thought you did not need to do anything further than what you had already provided (which was to double check and respond that the only confirmation you sent was for Jones.) The only question I would have is, LOL, did someone connect with Smith after your boss discovered she was at fault for making the appointment?


Peace
Re: Grrr... It has happened again [message #816140 is a reply to message #816138 ] Thu, 10 March 2016 17:09 Go to previous message
praise2christ  is currently offline praise2christ
Messages: 2162
Registered: August 2009
Location: Northern KY
Senior Member
Jamie wrote on Thu, 10 March 2016 12:20

praise2christ wrote on Thu, 10 March 2016 09:16

Thanks, ladies. She, thankfully, did believe me and when she looked into it, she was able to see that she was the one who had confirmed the reservation. It was consistent with the time-frame she was in the office and doing other things. She still doesn't remember confirming the reservation, though.

This is part of the reason I wish she would leave these things for me. I keep records of everything I do. She never does. So, I can look back and see a list of actions I've taken that day while she has to rely on her memory.

I am going to pray about what I should say and if I should say anything more. Thank you for all your advice!

I'm glad this was resolved. I only came across your original post a moment ago and thought you did not need to do anything further than what you had already provided (which was to double check and respond that the only confirmation you sent was for Jones.) The only question I would have is, LOL, did someone connect with Smith after your boss discovered she was at fault for making the appointment?



I emailed her and said that, since we were unable to reach her by phone and had no current information in our system, the appointment had been declined. Hopefully she gets it. But, if not, she wouldn't get the one that said it was approved, either!


Stacy, mom to 12-year-old boy/girl twins and a three-year-old boy.

"Every man's life is a fairy tale written by God's finger." Hans Christian Andersen
Previous Topic:Big decisions
Next Topic:Church decisions
Goto Forum:
  


Current Time: Tue Oct 24 05:39:42 EDT 2017

Total time taken to generate the page: 0.09455 seconds
.:: Contact :: Home ::.

"Boasting" ... I was thinking about the Newsweek cover story on homeschooling and the Internet poll by ABC News that asked whether parents were qualified to teach their children. Something inside of me was hoping these could convince skeptical friends and relatives about the merits of our decision to homeschool.

CHFWeb.com Interactive is Powered by: FUDforum 2.6.12.
Copyright ©2001-2004 FUD Forum Bulletin Board Software