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Home » CHFWeb Forum » HomeMaking » UPDATE Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting.
UPDATE Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. [message #686171] Tue, 08 March 2011 10:05 Go to next message
Bonnie  is currently offline Bonnie
Messages: 5911
Registered: April 2005
Location: MidSouth
Senior Member

"Those" gifts![ 16 vote(s) ]
1.I always display the gift, whether I like it or not. 3 / 19%
2.I keep the gift tucked away, but display it when they come - completely guilt free. 0 / 0%
3.I keep the gift tucked away, but display it when they come - and feel slightly dishonest about it. 1 / 6%
4.I've already returned/exchanged/given away the gift, since it didn't work for me in the first place, but I've never told them. I hope they don't notice. 6 / 38%
5.Same as above, but its okay, because I told them I did this 1 / 6%
6.Other - of course. Please elucidate. (Big Word of the Day! It means to explain. Wink ) 5 / 31%

We all have those things that we know were given with much love and wonderful intentions, but they just don't work for us. What do you do?

Sucess!! My mother-in-law thinks hanging it over the piano and using it for sheetmusic is the perfect use for it. My father-in-law has offered no comment, but he didn't say anything negative, either. I also moved my kitchen island over a bit so it would bit tight walking around it if the platerack were there. He's a very practical man. He would see that right away.

BTW, I think the rack is STAYING up over the piano. It really is perfect for sheetmusic!

[Updated on: Sat, 19 March 2011 09:07]


Bonnie
Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. [message #686173 is a reply to message #686171 ] Tue, 08 March 2011 10:11 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Karen in TN  is currently offline Karen in TN
Messages: 1649
Registered: April 2005
Location: TN
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For me, it depends on who gave me the gift.

If it was someone that is very sentimental then I will display it for a couple of months and then it slowly disappears (making SURE not to give it to Goodwill where they shop).

If I know they just ran to Wal mart and grabbed something then I don't display-Goodwill box.

If they are out of the area and it will be a long time before I see them then probably Goodwill. This doesn't really happen anymore, but did when we lived out of state.

All of this would be small, relatively inexpensive things. Now, if my mom bought me something over 50 bucks then I'd probably tell her and ask to exchange it, because I know she'd want me to.

Karen in TN


wife of 31 years to Richard, Mom to Matthew (26), Adra 24, Shelby 15, Samuel 13, and Ruby Grace 11. Homeschooling for 19 years.
Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. [message #686191 is a reply to message #686171 ] Tue, 08 March 2011 11:15 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Tracy in Peru  is currently offline Tracy in Peru
Messages: 7949
Registered: April 2005
Location: Trujillo, Peru
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Remember that vase?

I displayed it, but when we moved, it got tucked away. I keep hoping it will get broken.


In Him--Tracy
Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. [message #686201 is a reply to message #686191 ] Tue, 08 March 2011 11:43 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Chris, GA  is currently offline Chris, GA
Messages: 3217
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Tracy in Peru wrote on Tue, 08 March 2011 11:15

Remember that vase?

I displayed it, but when we moved, it got tucked away. I keep hoping it will get broken.


LOL, I don't think I'll ever forget it! Smile


Chris, GA
Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. [message #686205 is a reply to message #686171 ] Tue, 08 March 2011 12:02 Go to previous messageGo to next message
SkiGirl
Messages: 2169
Registered: April 2005
Location: Tidytown
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It would depend who gave it to me and why. If I don't like something, I usually don't keep it. But we don't live close to family.

My mil made me the absolutely most ugliest maternity dress I have ever seen in my life. It looked like it had been made of Waverly furniture fabric and it was a TENT!!! I said thank you and put it away. As soon as she left town, I took it to Goodwill. No regrets...EVER!!

My problem is the things that dh loves that are sentimental to him that I find hideous. In particular, a painting his grandmother did. I don't like the colors and it looks like a fifth grader did it. It was hanging in my den for years, but I took it down to paint and asked if we HAD to put it back up. I think he relented since I had let it hang so long.

Your post reminds me of a Gilmore Girls episode when Loralie's mom digs out all of the stuff to decorate her house with when Gran comes for a visit. I had no idea people did that IRL.

[Updated on: Tue, 08 March 2011 12:03]


Rebecca
Married to my best friend and mommy to 6.

Daily given more Grace than I will ever deserve....




Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. [message #686209 is a reply to message #686205 ] Tue, 08 March 2011 12:20 Go to previous messageGo to next message
~Janice  is currently offline ~Janice
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Since my home isn't spectacularly decorated I suppose I have more give than if it were. I try to display gifts for at least six months to a year. After that I am free to "put it away" as it's natural to change things up in a home. I just don't want anyone to think I do not appreciate their loving intentions.


TAKE TIME FOR FRIENDS!

Janice T. ~ CHF member since 09/97 ~
Mom to four - ds 28, dd 26, dd 24 and ds 21 - and wife to my sweet husband Richard.
Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. [message #686218 is a reply to message #686171 ] Tue, 08 March 2011 12:38 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Bonnie  is currently offline Bonnie
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The reason behind the poll - my inlaws are coming to visit in two weeks. When we remodeled our kitchen, my father-in-law said he was making a plate rack for me. OK. Not totally my style, but I can always work with a cute little shelf, right? WRONG!!! This thing is MASSIVE!!! It has two shelves, slots for a dozen plates and is big enough and sturdy enough for bench. (I know that because I had thought of converting it to a bench at one time.) It is so big that I only have one spot for it, and if I put it there, I won't be able to open a cabinet door all the way.

It is excellently done and obviously very expensive. My father-in-law is a great carpenter, but he always WAY over builds things. He gave us this 4 years ago, the last time they visited, and I've never put it up. I really feel like I need to put it up, but it is going to need some serious anchors to stay up, and I know I will take it down as soon as they leave.

Still, a little wall repair seems a small price to honor my husband's parents. Too bad it wasn't something breakable! Wink


Bonnie
Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. [message #686219 is a reply to message #686171 ] Tue, 08 March 2011 12:41 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Chris, GA  is currently offline Chris, GA
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Could it go in the dining room?


Chris, GA
Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. [message #686227 is a reply to message #686219 ] Tue, 08 March 2011 12:49 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Bonnie  is currently offline Bonnie
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Chris, GA wrote on Tue, 08 March 2011 11:41

Could it go in the dining room?



Not without giving someone a concussion!!!! Laughing Laughing It is about 48"w x 30" H and 12" deep. Its almost a hutch top. My dining room is combined with the LR and is a high traffic area.

[Updated on: Tue, 08 March 2011 12:50]


Bonnie
Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. [message #686230 is a reply to message #686209 ] Tue, 08 March 2011 12:50 Go to previous messageGo to next message
PamE
Messages: 3762
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~Janice wrote on Tue, 08 March 2011 10:20

Since my home isn't spectacularly decorated I suppose I have more give than if it were. I try to display gifts for at least six months to a year. After that I am free to "put it away" as it's natural to change things up in a home. I just don't want anyone to think I do not appreciate their loving intentions.




I voted "other" and usually handle things like Janice does.


I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. ~Phil 3:13-14~
Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. [message #686243 is a reply to message #686171 ] Tue, 08 March 2011 13:19 Go to previous messageGo to next message
abbie  is currently offline abbie
Messages: 274
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I'm going to have to figure out how to handle this myself. This year for Christmas my MIL decided to get me wall decor, since she decided it was about time I decorated my house. We've lived here nearly 3 years, so I guess she's right, but we have VERY different taste!

I also have to say, as soon as I saw this topic and who posted it, I knew EXACTLY what the "gift" in question was! Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing


DD to Bonnie
Wife to Paul
Mom to 5 munchkins
Sam 5, Ella 4, Sophie 2, Ethan born 3-6-12, and one in heaven
Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. [message #686244 is a reply to message #686243 ] Tue, 08 March 2011 13:23 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Bonnie  is currently offline Bonnie
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abbie wrote on Tue, 08 March 2011 12:19

I also have to say, as soon as I saw this topic and who posted it, I knew EXACTLY what the "gift" in question was! Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing


Well, Abbie, since you know exactly what this is and have refused to put it in your own house for me, got any ideas? And please don't say firewood!


Bonnie
Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. [message #686254 is a reply to message #686171 ] Tue, 08 March 2011 14:06 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Karen in TN  is currently offline Karen in TN
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Bonnie,
Afraid you're going to have to suck it up and display the gift. Hey, at least he's not moving in and it will just be temporary.

Karen in TN


wife of 31 years to Richard, Mom to Matthew (26), Adra 24, Shelby 15, Samuel 13, and Ruby Grace 11. Homeschooling for 19 years.
Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. [message #686286 is a reply to message #686171 ] Tue, 08 March 2011 15:27 Go to previous messageGo to next message
ReneeL.inMN
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I think I'd lean toward hanging it. That or do a massive guilt trip on a daughter to take it. Laughing Laughing Laughing


ReneeL.inMN
25yos, 23yos, 13 yod I guess I am old enough for adult children.

My stomach hurts, but I still choose joy! :-)

Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. [message #686287 is a reply to message #686171 ] Tue, 08 March 2011 15:31 Go to previous messageGo to next message
laurie r  is currently offline laurie r
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Location: Southern NJ
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Couldn't you *give it back to him* and ask if he could make it a bit smaller so when you hang it you can open the cupboard all the way... that gives you four years till they come visit again and bring it back, and then four more before you would have to hang it for their next visit Smile


~laurie
Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. [message #686312 is a reply to message #686171 ] Tue, 08 March 2011 16:52 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Dimples  is currently offline Dimples
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What about displaying it in another room? Bedroom/Bathroom? Perhaps over the toilet (don't mee to be insensitive here) with things other than plates displayed.
Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. [message #686315 is a reply to message #686171 ] Tue, 08 March 2011 16:57 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Chris, GA  is currently offline Chris, GA
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Honestly, if the size of it is all that is an issue b/c of the cupboard door, I'd hang it and leave it there. Cabinet doors don't have to open 180 degrees to be perfectly functional. On the other hand if you really dislike it in general...is there something you could do to it to make it more to your liking? I, too, was thinking maybe abbie could make good use of it Smile.


Chris, GA
Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. [message #686316 is a reply to message #686315 ] Tue, 08 March 2011 16:59 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Michele (Queen of Cheap)  is currently offline Michele (Queen of Cheap)
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If I like it, it will be displayed all the time. If I can tolerate it, I will display it when the giver is there so show her/him how much I appreciate their thoughtfulness. If I can't stand it, I keep it (in a closet) out of guilt and hope they don't mention it.


Michele, The Organic Queen of Cheap!
(aka Shelly the Swamp Frog)

Happily posting on CHF since 1995


Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. [message #686438 is a reply to message #686171 ] Wed, 09 March 2011 01:31 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Kate Megill  is currently offline Kate Megill
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For me it was other:

1) I can't remember who ever gave me what
2) I can't remember if I still have who ever gave me what
3) most of my gifts are consumable
4) none of my gifts are things that would be displayed


In His Joy and Grace,

Kate

Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. - Problem solved - I think! [message #686489 is a reply to message #686171 ] Wed, 09 March 2011 12:13 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Bonnie  is currently offline Bonnie
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Eureka!!!! I think we've found the answer!

We are going to mount in on the wall in the family room above our digital keyboard. We can use the plate slots for sheet music/books, and attach a clamp light so we have some lighting over the area. My FIL may not be thrilled its not in the kitchen, but my MIL will love it, since she plays piano, and my FIL will see the practicallity of it all.

PLUS! The family room walls are pretty rugged anyway, so a few more holes in the walls won't even be noticeable. Who knows? We may decide we actually like it there!!


Bonnie
Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. - Problem solved - I think! [message #686501 is a reply to message #686489 ] Wed, 09 March 2011 13:24 Go to previous messageGo to next message
~Janice  is currently offline ~Janice
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Thumbs Up Thumbs Up You are one smart cookie Bonnie!! Smile


TAKE TIME FOR FRIENDS!

Janice T. ~ CHF member since 09/97 ~
Mom to four - ds 28, dd 26, dd 24 and ds 21 - and wife to my sweet husband Richard.
Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. - Problem solved - I think! [message #686514 is a reply to message #686171 ] Wed, 09 March 2011 14:19 Go to previous messageGo to next message
PamE
Messages: 3762
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Oh, sweet!!! I love coming up with new ideas for things and that sounds like it fits a need very nicely! Smile


I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. ~Phil 3:13-14~
Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. - Problem solved - I think! [message #686518 is a reply to message #686171 ] Wed, 09 March 2011 14:26 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Chris, GA  is currently offline Chris, GA
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Good job...I hope our little discussion here helped get you thinking out of the box a little Smile


Chris, GA
Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. - Problem solved - I think! [message #686812 is a reply to message #686171 ] Thu, 10 March 2011 19:42 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Leigh  is currently offline Leigh
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This was something I had to come to grips with. I had a bunch of stuff that was no good to me, but was given to me by someone.

I was basically being held hostage by "gifts" that were not really "gifts" and my quality of life was suffering because of it.

I started getting rid of all the old junk. I know some family and friends would be horrified to know it, but I no longer care. Nobody has ever asked me about anything, which kind of tells me how much time they spent picking out the gift in the first place.

If I was given something that didn't work for me, I would politely say so. "Sorry, this is a bit large for the space." I have a small house and a large thing is not a gift. It's a burden.

I'm glad the OP found a solution to the issue. Someone mentioned asking if it could be made smaller. In future, if i see something like this coming, I can do without the surprise. We go in and measure the space the thing has to go in. I still have the thing to look forward to.


Leigh
Tennessee

"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."

~~Benjamin Franklin

Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. - Problem solved - I think! [message #686819 is a reply to message #686812 ] Thu, 10 March 2011 20:33 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Sue
Messages: 336
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Quote:

Nobody has ever asked me about anything, which kind of tells me how much time they spent picking out the gift in the first place.


I never ask because I'm afraid I'll put someone on the spot if they have given it away. I'm of the mindset that once I give it, it's theirs to do with as they wish.

I have asked people very close to me if something handmade held up in the wash, just so I can gauge whether I need to change the brand of materials. These are people who would be comfortable telling me without feeling bad.
Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. - Problem solved - I think! [message #686833 is a reply to message #686171 ] Thu, 10 March 2011 21:19 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Bonnie  is currently offline Bonnie
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Truly, if this were anyone else, I would have given it away or modified it years ago, rather than just stuffing it in our "junk" room. However, since it's from my father-in-law and he worked so hard on it and WILL check on it when he comes, it was just important that we hang it somewhere. (Trust me, it is easier to hang it - anywhere! - than deal with hurt feelings in this case.)

I am a huge fan of "regifting", though!


Bonnie
Re: Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. [message #686850 is a reply to message #686201 ] Thu, 10 March 2011 22:54 Go to previous messageGo to next message
denise d
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Chris, GA wrote on Tue, 08 March 2011 09:43

Tracy in Peru wrote on Tue, 08 March 2011 11:15

Remember that vase?

I displayed it, but when we moved, it got tucked away. I keep hoping it will get broken.


LOL, I don't think I'll ever forget it! Smile

I remember it!

Things like that have proven to be quite durable, in my experience.


God is Love.
Re: UPDATE Displaying gifts when the giver is visiting. [message #688392 is a reply to message #686171 ] Sat, 19 March 2011 09:30 Go to previous message
Bonnie  is currently offline Bonnie
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I didn't think that vase was THAT bad, personally.


Bonnie
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