|A reminder to all of us. [message #668353]
||Sat, 04 December 2010 19:38
| Kate Megill
Registered: April 2005
Location: NW rural Illinois
Just wanting to post this as a general reminder in light of some of the posts in some of the threads in recent weeks. This is to ALL of us (me included). I'm not reproving anyone or accusing anyone of anything. I just know that sometimes, with time being short and our lives being busy and sometimes with demands on us that get us feeling frazzled, we type before we pray and things can be written that might be better either re-written or left unsaid.|
Part of our focus on CHFWeb is discipleship, in the Titus 2 older women teaching the younger women mindset. This means that we season what we say in grace, love and believing the best of others. This will show itself in our replies in several ways:
-If someone says something that COULD be taken wrong, we should try to see how it COULD be taken right and ASK what was meant before we jump in, perhaps saying something much more harshly than we should.
-We need to remember that each of us here on this board are either in an intimate relationship with God or in some way interested in the things of God - otherwise there would be no pull to come to such a biblically focused forum. This means we are all from different backgrounds, different doctrinal persuasions, different denominational preferences and we need to give grace and honor to one another while trying to understand each other's views in light of the Word of God. And scripture is the ultimate rule and guide for all we say here. But our words must always be seasoned with grace and love and respect.
-We definitely don't want to mimic the world in its desire to be *right* or to *win*...as scripture instructs us, the "goal of our instruction is love". We want love to be the filter through which all of our posts pass. Sometimes that means NOT writing - or writing it and letting it sit for a day while we ask the Lord if it is something to be said or not. I cannot begin to tell you how many of my own posts were simply deleted using this method! We want the Holy Spirit to be our editor in what we eventually post so that love will be felt by others in what we say.
-Sarcasm is “a sharp, bitter, or cutting expression or remark; a bitter jibe or taunt" and really has no place in any post here on CHFWeb.
-We need to remember to regularly read the Guidelines for Posting on CHFWeb and the specific guidelines for Titus 2 section. In Hot Topics, it is vital that we keep our HEARTS and WORDS from heating up with one another, even if the topic itself generates some heat. If we write to one another with respect, even in disagreement, it will go a long way to keep unity of spirit in the center of our online relationships here.
-It is important to LISTEN HARD to what is being said (especially in complicated threads) before we post. It is easy to read a single post and think, "Oh, I have something to say" without checking to see if this has already been addressed earlier in the thread, but we didn't take the time to read it all. It may even be helpful to ask if the topic has been addressed before, in previous threads. After all, this board has been around for 14+ years and many of us have been here (and writing) for most of those years. At the same time that one person is seeing a topic for the first time, others may be feeling it has already been beaten to death.
-Cyber conversations are always chancy. There is no body language, no facial expressions, no voice inflections. All we have are the words written on the screen. That being the case, it is really vital for us to CARFULLY choose our words. It is so much better to re-read our posts (before we post them) with a heart to search out: how could this be taken badly by someone else. Something that we say to a friend face to face may come across very differently on cyber space. And sometimes, with new folks on the board, we need to be much more willing to help them learn how something comes across (in gentleness and love). We've all said something that hurt another, most often not on purpose and sometimes we were horrified to even realize it.
-Think about WHOM you are writing to! Again, our goal is to encourage and build one another in our walks with the Lord, in our marriages, in our roles as moms, daughters, friends. Sometimes that means being misunderstood while we gently (and sometimes privately) try to work toward unity. Sometimes it means praying and not writing. Sometimes it means not putting our own expectations on the lives and faith of others.
All of these things are written with love and a deep understanding that I, too, need to work on these things. Sometimes I read something and my temperature rises. My fingers FLY to respond. I read it all to Kevin and he gently points out that I misunderstood the post I'm responding to and I'm very harsh and critical. I push the delete key and pray instead. Let us all be: "quick to hear, slow to speak (or type) and slow to anger."
In His Joy and Grace,