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Home » CHFWeb Libraries » Titus Two Library » Okay empty nesters-give me some advice....
Okay empty nesters-give me some advice.... [message #532780] Mon, 11 May 2009 12:41 Go to next message
99loons  is currently offline 99loons
Messages: 929
Registered: April 2005
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My son has returned to the Marine Corps, my daughter has moved out of the house and my sweetie goes back to work for two weeks today. It's just me and the dust bunnies. Any advice?


I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.
~from Ecclesiastes 3:14~
Re: Okay empty nesters-give me some advice.... [message #532794 is a reply to message #532780 ] Mon, 11 May 2009 13:04 Go to previous messageGo to next message
~Janice  is currently offline ~Janice
Messages: 8308
Registered: April 2005
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Aren't you doing online college already?? I would suggest that. Or volunteer work.... I'm actually trying to think of things for myself. My kiddos are still at home but their lives are moving out, if you know what I mean. I am left with nothing to do and filling in with other things.

I'll be looking forward to hearing more ideas.


TAKE TIME FOR FRIENDS!

Janice T. ~ CHF member since 09/97 ~
Mom to four - ds 28, dd 26, dd 24 and ds 21 - and wife to my sweet husband Richard.
Re: Okay empty nesters-give me some advice.... [message #532888 is a reply to message #532794 ] Mon, 11 May 2009 20:55 Go to previous messageGo to next message
99loons  is currently offline 99loons
Messages: 929
Registered: April 2005
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Janice, I am actually working 25-40 hours a week but the nights are slow! I need to be productive...


I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.
~from Ecclesiastes 3:14~
Re: Okay empty nesters-give me some advice.... [message #532898 is a reply to message #532780 ] Mon, 11 May 2009 21:47 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Lisa R.  is currently offline Lisa R.
Messages: 14916
Registered: April 2005
Location: Georgia
Senior Member

Though I'm not there yet, here are some thoughts:

--cleaning/decluttering/painting/other home improvements
--in-depth Bible study that you never have time for
--online courses
--volunteer (nursing home/homeless shelter/crisis pregnancy center/church/TItus Two Younger woman)
--learn a new skill such as knitting or painting
--take a class at the local community college (either the credit kind or the special summer "elective" type classes)
--day at a spa/museum
--learn a musical instrument


I was kind of on a roll, but my family has interrupted...but there's a start anyway. Smile


Blessings,
Lisa R.
Re: Okay empty nesters-give me some advice.... [message #532905 is a reply to message #532780 ] Mon, 11 May 2009 22:04 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Charity  is currently offline Charity
Messages: 3518
Registered: April 2005
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I'm close to that as well. One more year. And with my husband's two weeks remote/two weeks home schedule, I know I'll have some hours to fill as well. I've already started or will after next year...

Working on a "bucket list" (things I want to do/try before I die)
Picking back up beloved hobbies
Preparing State Fair entries
Volunteering more
Subbing at local Christian school (will be officially teaching govt/constitutional law next year)
Becoming an athlete by age 50 Wink
Learning a new musical instrument
Dabbling in song-writing
Haven't yet, but will pick back up my free-lance writing
Joining the local sewing guild
Will be available to teach homeschool girls to sew
Will be volunteering for pregnancy crisis center as counselor
Reading more
More home projects
Set a goal of having every inch of the house perfectly organized (this will take me through my 100th decade)
Learn new things to cook

I'm not worried about having nothing to do. I'm a busy sort of person. I always have a ton of things I want to try. I'm more worried about being lonely WHILE being busy. Smile Which leads me to my last thought...

reach out to the lonely
do more entertaining
make new friends
spend more time with old friends
spend more time with nieces and nephews
renew the art of letter writing
begin writing notes of encouragement as a ministry
reach out to widows and single Moms

Charity
Re: Okay empty nesters-give me some advice.... [message #532918 is a reply to message #532905 ] Mon, 11 May 2009 22:27 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Lisa R.  is currently offline Lisa R.
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Registered: April 2005
Location: Georgia
Senior Member

Charity, your last thought amuses me, and highlights why the thread was addressed to actual empty-nesters! While the classes and ministry things I suggested inherently have some "people time" involved...I was very much focused on the "quiet and alone time" aspect of things.

The whole loneliness issue obviously hasn't hit here yet. Wink


Blessings,
Lisa R.
Re: Okay empty nesters-give me some advice.... [message #532929 is a reply to message #532780 ] Mon, 11 May 2009 23:37 Go to previous messageGo to next message
LynetteMN  is currently offline LynetteMN
Messages: 963
Registered: April 2005
Location: North of Never
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Foster a dog or two! That's my plan--I find happy wagging tails to be very refreshing when I step in the door at the end of a day's work with people. I don't find that dh and my teens act nearly as happy!


Wife for 24 years
Mom to 22 yo dd and 19 yo dd
and Buddy the Wonder Dog!
Re: Okay empty nesters-give me some advice.... [message #533022 is a reply to message #532780 ] Tue, 12 May 2009 10:54 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Mary Jo  is currently offline Mary Jo
Messages: 2015
Registered: April 2005
Location: Tepic Nayarit Mexico
Senior Member
Charity,

Your list is amazing and is almost exactly what my list will look like.

I was laughing when I read become an athlete Laughing
I actully have that on a list. I said get in great physical shape. I will never be an athlete Wink

I have already started the musical instrument part and I'm on my way to songwriting.

I am looking into some writing schools. I spent last night writing a few and finding out if they can help with the most basics which I need.

We have a culinary arts school here in Tepic and I want to take some classes. I love to cook.

I also just talked to my husband about the things I want to do in my older age before I go be with the Lord. It's a long list... I had better get busy. Laughing
Re: Okay empty nesters-give me some advice.... [message #533030 is a reply to message #533022 ] Tue, 12 May 2009 11:04 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Charity  is currently offline Charity
Messages: 3518
Registered: April 2005
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Mary Jo wrote on Tue, 12 May 2009 09:54

Charity,

Your list is amazing and is almost exactly what my list will look like.

I was laughing when I read become an athlete Laughing
I actully have that on a list. I said get in great physical shape. I will never be an athlete Wink

I have already started the musical instrument part and I'm on my way to songwriting.

I am looking into some writing schools. I spent last night writing a few and finding out if they can help with the most basics which I need.

We have a culinary arts school here in Tepic and I want to take some classes. I love to cook.

I also just talked to my husband about the things I want to do in my older age before I go be with the Lord. It's a long list... I had better get busy. Laughing



Yep! I could have written this post as well. We're a lot alike. I've been doing a lot of song-writing. Our new worship leader wants to produce a CD of our worship band and wants a lot of original material on it. I already presented one song to the Body as a solo a few weeks ago.

You'd be amazed how fast the body responds to training. I've only been seriously training for a few months and the whole shape of my body is different. I have shoulders now! Can't imagine what can be done in 5-10years.

I'm actually loving my life as it is now. But loneliness is a real issue (for those two weeks DH is gone. When he's home we have a blast together. It's like an ongoing honeymoon) I think that needs to be considered far more than the time and activities factor.

charity
Re: Okay empty nesters-give me some advice.... [message #533133 is a reply to message #532780 ] Tue, 12 May 2009 15:18 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Leigh  is currently offline Leigh
Messages: 4572
Registered: April 2005
Location: Tennessee
Senior Member
I'm glad Charity said what she did about loneliness. I still see home schoolers and I'm friendly with them, but I have made new friends outside the home school community that I see regularly.

I'm also exploring some of the things I had to put off because of the home schooling priority. Charity's bucket list is a good idea. Think about what you have been wanting to try, then try them all. Pick two or three things you liked the best and explore them further.

Don't forget to put time and effort toward your husband. Life is different now and you will be able to reconnect in some ways that will jump start this new phase of life.


Leigh
Tennessee

"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."

~~Benjamin Franklin

Re: Okay empty nesters-give me some advice.... [message #533139 is a reply to message #532780 ] Tue, 12 May 2009 15:25 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Charity  is currently offline Charity
Messages: 3518
Registered: April 2005
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A good website/resource for putting together a bucket list is 43things.com That's where I keep my list. You can connect with others who are working on the same goals as you. YOu can read little stories of how others met their goals. You can "cheer" people working toward their goals and leave them encouraging comments.

Charity
Re: Okay empty nesters-give me some advice.... [message #533240 is a reply to message #532780 ] Tue, 12 May 2009 20:07 Go to previous messageGo to next message
99loons  is currently offline 99loons
Messages: 929
Registered: April 2005
Senior Member
You all are so full of good ideas (except that dog thing! Wink) I love dogs, but I am looking to downsize on the critters while letting them live out their lives here. We have three dogs, a cat and a horse and I hear some ducks are heading our way. Its too much!

You are right Charity about the lonliness when husband work that two weeks on/two weeks off schedule.

Think I'll go look at that site!


I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.
~from Ecclesiastes 3:14~
Re: Okay empty nesters-give me some advice.... [message #533322 is a reply to message #533240 ] Wed, 13 May 2009 02:21 Go to previous messageGo to next message
~Janice  is currently offline ~Janice
Messages: 8308
Registered: April 2005
Senior Member
volunteering more
Reading more
More home projects
Set a goal of having every inch of the house perfectly organized (this will take me through my 100th decade)
reach out to the lonely
do more entertaining
make new friends
spend more time with old friends
renew the art of letter writing
begin writing notes of encouragement as a ministry
reach out to widows

I like the above from Charity's list. I would add:

drawing again
playing piano (haven't for years and I'm not good)
getting physically more firm
finishing my college degree
working part time
gardening (never even liked it till recently)
getting involved with something like the Stephen Ministry

I know there's more but that's it for now.




[Updated on: Wed, 13 May 2009 02:22]


TAKE TIME FOR FRIENDS!

Janice T. ~ CHF member since 09/97 ~
Mom to four - ds 28, dd 26, dd 24 and ds 21 - and wife to my sweet husband Richard.
Re: Okay empty nesters-give me some advice.... [message #533458 is a reply to message #532780 ] Wed, 13 May 2009 11:47 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Paula  is currently offline Paula
Messages: 1054
Registered: June 2005
Senior Member
I just want to take a nap!! We will be empty nesters after August and right now all I can think is I want a nap!


Paula, a Blessed woman who is married to the most amazing man, and mother of the most incredible children.
Re: Okay empty nesters-give me some advice.... [message #533508 is a reply to message #533458 ] Wed, 13 May 2009 13:10 Go to previous messageGo to next message
~Janice  is currently offline ~Janice
Messages: 8308
Registered: April 2005
Senior Member

Well, that too. Laughing Maybe I'll take my nap on a beach in Florida or Hawaii. Very Happy Very Happy


TAKE TIME FOR FRIENDS!

Janice T. ~ CHF member since 09/97 ~
Mom to four - ds 28, dd 26, dd 24 and ds 21 - and wife to my sweet husband Richard.
Re: Okay empty nesters-give me some advice.... [message #533602 is a reply to message #533458 ] Wed, 13 May 2009 17:03 Go to previous message
Lisa R.  is currently offline Lisa R.
Messages: 14916
Registered: April 2005
Location: Georgia
Senior Member

Paula wrote on Wed, 13 May 2009 11:47

I just want to take a nap!! We will be empty nesters after August and right now all I can think is I want a nap!


Actually, Brad and I joke about the first month of empty-nestdom being a month of naps and catching up on sleep! Very Happy


Blessings,
Lisa R.
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