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Home » CHFWeb Forum » TitusTwo » What would you do?
What would you do? [message #18258] Tue, 07 June 2005 10:18 Go to next message
Linda Lee  is currently offline Linda Lee
Messages: 944
Registered: April 2005
Location: Upper Peninsula of MI
Senior Member

Would you take charge, even if you don't "feel" called?[ 32 vote(s) ]
1.Yes 2 / 6%
2.No. 23 / 72%
3.Depends (please explain). 7 / 22%

If you were involved in a ladies-missionary-support-group at church and it was a very small group of very elderly women and they wanted YOU to be in charge, would you do it just to keep the group going for their sakes?

[Updated on: Tue, 07 June 2005 10:20]


Linda
wife to dearest Tom for 25 years,
mom to Lydia (21), Samuel (18), Logan (13), and Silas (4)
Re: What would you do? [message #18262 is a reply to message #18258 ] Tue, 07 June 2005 10:27 Go to previous messageGo to next message
KarenNB  is currently offline KarenNB
Messages: 134
Registered: May 2005
Location: New Brunswick, Canada
Senior Member
As a Pastor's wife this is a familiar scenario. Assmuming that the group truly has a place in the church body and it is supported by the leadership (Elders) and they believe it should continue I will seek to assist them.

If the group needs some leadership but no one goes forward, I will step up to the plate. I have done this in situations where I believe I am called, but also at times when I do not. In those instances, I will take up the leadership as an interim leader. I make it clear at the beginning that I will fill in as the interim leader until there is someone to take my place. It then becomes an issue of prayer for the group as a whole. Perhaps there is another woman who God wishes to raise up in women's ministry and she needs a helping hand. Once she is ready, she takes the leadership over but I stay as a helper to give guidance and advice until she is ready.

karen


From the fullness of His grace
we have all received
one blessing after another.
John 1:16

http://thebishopswife.blogspot.com/
It would depend on [message #18290 is a reply to message #18258 ] Tue, 07 June 2005 11:20 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Leslie Fay  is currently offline Leslie Fay
Messages: 482
Registered: April 2005
Location: Steeler country
Senior Member
the level of committment it would require, and time, responsibility, etc... If taking leadership would be too demanding and/or interfere with my other responsibilities I would turn it down. I guess I would pray and seek what the Lord would have me do, and also ask my dh!


Leslie
wife to Bobby
mama of three blessings
I had to say no [message #18306 is a reply to message #18258 ] Tue, 07 June 2005 12:09 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Teri in AZ  is currently offline Teri in AZ
Messages: 4072
Registered: April 2005
Location: Tucson, AZ
Senior Member

Not at this time in my life. I did it once before, it was extremely difficult and time consuming. Right now I feel the Lord is leading me to other ministries. I'm still waiting on His leading as to what he wants me to do, especially ministries with my DH, which I think I really need to do.


Teri in AZ

God is still on the Throne.
Re: What would you do? [message #18391 is a reply to message #18258 ] Tue, 07 June 2005 18:01 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Tonja L.  is currently offline Tonja L.
Messages: 724
Registered: April 2005
Location: Beautiful Arkansas
Senior Member
Wow.
I am kinda diappointed in all the no votes.
I voted *depends* and would have prefered a *prbably* option. Very Happy

It depends on many things.

If it is a small group that really wouldn't take much of my time or effort and it would serve and benefit an elderly group of ladies, I say YES.

If on the other hand, it would take alot of time, preparation, and time away from familydh/homeschooling, I would probably have to say NO.

Also, a *calling from God* isn't nessasarily God calling you first, it may be a call realized by the *need* and request of others. So....now you may be called. Very Happy


Growing in Gods' Grace and Truth,
Tonja
What if ? [message #18512 is a reply to message #18391 ] Tue, 07 June 2005 23:14 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Linda Lee  is currently offline Linda Lee
Messages: 944
Registered: April 2005
Location: Upper Peninsula of MI
Senior Member
What if they already asked me to be the cradle roll secretary (sending encouraging notes and info to young parents) and the funeral luncheon coordinator (both responsibilities of this group)? I've said yes to these and am happy to do these.
But, for some reason I have a hesitation to take on a leadership role, basically conducting a business meeting every month. Part of it is intimidation on my part with "leading" elderly women.

I would like to hear reasons for the no's if anyone's interested in sharing.

[Updated on: Tue, 07 June 2005 23:21]


Linda
wife to dearest Tom for 25 years,
mom to Lydia (21), Samuel (18), Logan (13), and Silas (4)
Re: What if ? [message #18522 is a reply to message #18512 ] Tue, 07 June 2005 23:24 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Tonja L.  is currently offline Tonja L.
Messages: 724
Registered: April 2005
Location: Beautiful Arkansas
Senior Member
It seems if you are already doing alot for this group.

It is really hard to give specific advice since none of know all the details and your (gut) feelings.

Based on your two post together, since you are already helping the group, and have no desire to lead it, I'd probably say no.

But really only you can decide. Sad You have to factor everything in.


Growing in Gods' Grace and Truth,
Tonja
No. [message #18619 is a reply to message #18258 ] Wed, 08 June 2005 05:08 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Elizabby  is currently offline Elizabby
Messages: 5476
Registered: April 2005
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Senior Member
I've been sucked in before and taken up jobs which I didn't feel called to do and didn't have the skills for, but "nobody else would". It always ended badly. I got frustrated, and the ministry died anyway. Wouldn't touch this sort of thing with a barge pole. If God is letting it die I'm not getting in the way!


Your sister in Christ,

Elizabby

Evie is six, Zoe is four, and Benji is two!

Not online as much these days, contact me through email or my blog if you want to talk to me!
Re: No. [message #18623 is a reply to message #18619 ] Wed, 08 June 2005 05:33 Go to previous messageGo to next message
KarenNB  is currently offline KarenNB
Messages: 134
Registered: May 2005
Location: New Brunswick, Canada
Senior Member
There is such truth in what Elizabby has said. That is why I included the qualifier that the church elders believe that it should continue. God does let ineffective groups die off this way so it really has to be a matter of prayer. God also uses shuffling of leadership to revive a group as well.

Now that Linda Lee has given more information...that she is already helping the group and she has no desire for leadership, then that might be an indication that she should refuse. I would bring it to the elders to get their guidance.

I assume that you have already spoken to your hubby about this and that you do have the time if you decide to go with it. If he is not supportive or you cannot find time then of course it should be passed by.

karen


From the fullness of His grace
we have all received
one blessing after another.
John 1:16

http://thebishopswife.blogspot.com/
Re: What would you do? [message #18624 is a reply to message #18258 ] Wed, 08 June 2005 06:02 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Lisa T.  is currently offline Lisa T.
Messages: 5579
Registered: April 2005
Location: New Hampshire
Senior Member
Well, I've done this sort of thing before, always wound up resenting it and not doing a very good job. Sometimes such a group needs to be reinvented and get a lot of new membership to continue. I have seen several situations where elderly ladies think just getting a young leader will magically do the job, but they still want to continue meeting midday (when most younger women are not available), do only the same old activities (which don't suit the younger set), etc.

There's a group like this at my church which runs a bazaar in the fall. It's the same old same old--crocheted tissue box holders, knit mittens, white elephants, etc. Probably needs to die and be reinvented as a silent auction or something...but I'm not the one to do it! I have several ministries in our church, and have had to draw the line so that I can do a few things well, and encourage others to volunteer. Looking at our list of volunteers, it's the same people wearing many hats, and many others doing little or nothing. Why is that?


Lisa T.
Re: What would you do? [message #18660 is a reply to message #18258 ] Wed, 08 June 2005 09:22 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Lisa R.  is currently offline Lisa R.
Messages: 14921
Registered: April 2005
Location: Georgia
Senior Member

Given the information you've given us, I really don't think I would do it either. My take on church ministries is this--if God is in charge of the church, then He will work to establish the programs He wants to use to accomplish the mission of the church. I believe that if a program or activity is in God's will, then He will provide the personnel necessary to operate it. Of course, this means that people have to actually be in prayer and listening to Him to see what they should be doing. I imagine quite a few "pew-warmers are really people God has placed in a particular church in order to do something, and they're not listening. I also believe that when people "just step up to the plate" so that something won't die, they are often keeping something alive that God wants to die, or they are allowing someone else to continue outside God's will by not doing what He is calling them to do.

It sounds like this group has a good ministry going. Before I considered stepping up to the leadership position, I'd want to know WHY all the elderly ladies think the group should keep having monthly meetings, but none of them want to handle that responsibility. What are the consequences if you don't step up?

In our last church position, there was a children's church going on when we got there. Every Sunday it was the same struggle to get volunteers to stay and teach. Begging and pleading from the pulpit. The lady who usually gave in and stayed when no one else would, stayed nearly every Sunday, got burned out and quit staying. Again, the constant struggle for someone to stay. Brad, as the one in charge of this area of the church just let the program drop. There was a huge uproar when this was first Sunday. People were appalled and aghast that he would just let such an important program just die like that! How could he?! Well, within about two weeks no one said another word about it and it was forgotten. Not a very important program after all!


Blessings,
Lisa R.
If i really, really, really did not feel called... [message #18703 is a reply to message #18258 ] Wed, 08 June 2005 11:53 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Kim H in NC  is currently offline Kim H in NC
Messages: 38
Registered: April 2005
Location: North Carolina
Member
I think I would not take up leadership of the group. If the group is meant to be, then someone will take up leadershp. Every group does not have to last forever, and sometimes there are times when specific groups must fold.

On the other hand, if I was just a little wishy washy, I might take up leadership for a specific amount of time and then re-evaluate...

Also, ask you dh and see what he thinks...my hubby is pretty good at helping me weed out my "opportunities".

Kim
Re: What would you do? [message #18721 is a reply to message #18258 ] Wed, 08 June 2005 12:50 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Charity  is currently offline Charity
Messages: 3518
Registered: April 2005
Senior Member
No...I'm learning (unfortunately, too often the hard way) that my time belongs to God and should only be used for those things that HE asks me to do.

Charity
Re: What would you do? [message #18728 is a reply to message #18258 ] Wed, 08 June 2005 13:13 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Jeanette in WA now  is currently offline Jeanette in WA now
Messages: 25
Registered: May 2005
Location: Seattle, Washington
Junior Member
I would REALLY, REALLY, REALLY have to love these ladies to step up to this plate. If the Lord is not calling a leader, it would seem that He doesn't want one. Two different things could be happening, either it's time for the ministry to fade away or someone else is not being obedient. Search your heart and pray, pray, pray. If God wants you in that position, He will confirm it by calling you to it. I have stepped up to the plate in these instances before and it has never ended well. Just my experience, perhaps not yours.


Jeanette in WA instead of TX now.

Lover of the Lord
Mom to 5 Blessings
Mom to a new dog and cat as soon as I can find them.
Re: No. [message #18794 is a reply to message #18619 ] Wed, 08 June 2005 16:32 Go to previous messageGo to next message
denise d
Messages: 6330
Registered: April 2005
Senior Member
The blunt truth. I agree.





God is Love.
Re: What would you do? Depends... [message #19155 is a reply to message #18258 ] Thu, 09 June 2005 04:19 Go to previous message
jennyd  is currently offline jennyd
Messages: 197
Registered: May 2005
Location: Texas
Senior Member
However, it would take a lot to turn the depends into a yes. If it is something God doesn't want me doing, and I'm trying to force a door to stay open that should be closed, I wind up causing damage in my family due to misused time. It is also not helpful in the church, because it is either a ministry God wants someone else to do, or no one else to do. Interim leadership is a possibility if this is something God is directing.
In Christ,
Jenny D. from Texas


Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight. Psalm 119:35
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