"need encouragement"
Homeschool Section

Subject : need encouragement
Posted by Jeanie on Sunday, 7 June 1998, at 5:05 p.m.

I'm starting to get ready to home-school my son for the first time. I talked to my Pastor's wife today about Home-schooling, and if she knew anybody in our area that did. Well she started telling me horror stories about people she knew that home-schooled. I heard " it cost to much" , "it makes the kids social rejects" and other words of "encouragement". That bummed me out! It makes me wonder if I'm doing the right thing. I just want to do what's best for my son.


Subject : Re: need encouragement
Posted by Lorretta on Sunday, 7 June 1998, at 6:34 p.m., in response to need encouragement, posted by Jeanie on Sunday, 7 June 1998, at 5:05 p.m.

Jeanie,
It would be a lie if someone told you hs was easy. It requires alot of work, BUT I don't feel there is a more satisfying feeling than being able to teach your child to read, spell, write, etc. We are to bring up our children in the ways of the Lord and what better way for us to do this than hs?
Here are a few sites that have very good information/resources on hs in general- www.hslda.org, www.teachinghome.com,www.abeka.com, www.fof.org.Also your state will have a hs organization, and you may even have a local support group of other hsers. Do a little research, there have been many before us that have paved the way. The resources are endless.
We will pray for you, just let God show you His will.


Subject : Re: need encouragement
Posted by Nancy C. on Sunday, 7 June 1998, at 7:13 p.m., in response to need encouragement, posted by Jeanie on Sunday, 7 June 1998, at 5:05 p.m.

Dear Jeanie,

My church isn't very supportive either. I am the only hs in my church. My Pastor's wife works in the Public School and our church has at least 50 members that work in the public schools. Since I started hs I have had anonymous church member send our family a post card telling us that kids learn how to behave and take care of themselves in school (fight). Yes, I was very upset at first. Then I thought I should switch churches. We finally decided to be a living example of hs and that we weren't going to vanish. We are very involved in our church. Homeschooling has brought out the best in my children. There will be some tough days and that's is where a support person or mentor would be very helpful. As far as costs it is cheaper than private school. Some options: You can buy used curriculum. If you decide to unschool or use unit studies, or will be literature based make sure you become familiar with your local library.
Hope this helps!

Blessings,

Nancy C.


Subject : Re: need encouragement
Posted by Rachel in Kansas City on Sunday, 7 June 1998, at 8:24 p.m., in response to need encouragement, posted by Jeanie on Sunday, 7 June 1998, at 5:05 p.m.

Hi Jeanie,

Before our son was old enough to enter kindergarten, my husband and I had decided that homeschooling was the best thing for him. However, as he approached 5 years old, I started having these little seeds of doubt pop up here and there. In hindsight, I realize the doubts began when I started listening to naysayers within my church and family. After convincing my husband that "maybe we shouldn't hs", we paid a visit to our pastor. He said a lot of the same things your pastor's wife said. He also said I was trying to control too much of what belongs to God by homeschooling and that *his kids* were in public school growing up and turned out great (which they did).

Accepting that my pastor was probably right--because I am a little controlling :o), I visited the elementary school that our son would attend. Eeks...it was not even an option (there were *so* many red flags that went off in my head when I was there). Anyway, we knew we couldn't let him go there, but I had convinced myself by this time that I would not be trusting the Lord if I homeschooled him (and to think it all started out with a little comment from a family member only months before this time...). So, we settled on enrolling him in a private, Christian school...

After 3 (very long) months, we pulled him out of that school and brought him home, this time with *no questions* about what was best for our little boy. :o) He is now through his first year of homeschooling. I now *know* that he is exactly where the Lord wants him.

My lesson learned? The Lord *had* shown us His direction before our boy was 5 years old. But we allowed doubt and confusion to throw us off-track. Bottom line: I think it's important to go to our pastors or their wives for counsel. *But* if you have already settled it between you and the Lord (and your husband) that homeschooling is the right path for your child, be careful not to get too caught up in negative opinions or horror stories (I've found *many* times that it's second-hand information they're giving anyway and not their *personal* experience). Rather, seek out several veteran homeschoolers who have been successful with it and let them help you through the initial questions (and there are *plenty* on this board!) :o).

Rachel


Subject : Go Figure
Posted by Jeanette/WA on Sunday, 7 June 1998, at 9:27 p.m., in response to need encouragement, posted by Jeanie on Sunday, 7 June 1998, at 5:05 p.m.

Hi Jeanie,
When I decided to homeschool, I was the only one in my church. Everyone I talked to didn't seem to say negative factual things, but would say things that they had heard from their third cousin twice removed who lives three states away.

Anyway, I've been researching this homeschooling thing for the last two months solid. I diligently educated myself on the facts so that I could *defend* those very unfactual comments.

What happened? Two more families are considering homeschooling and are using me as a resource. I think that is a riot since I won't officially start hs until June 17th. My church is giving some thought and prayer to starting a co-op/support group. LOL.

My prayer for you is that you stand firm in what you believe God has called you to do. He will bless you and those folks who speak negatively in your life will come to regret what they have said.

Maybe your pastor's wife wishes she could be homeschooling her kids but figures she doesn't have what it takes. Ya never know?

Anyway, you don't say where you are located. Perhaps you are right in my backyard or someone else's on this board. If you feel comfortable, let us know what state you are in.

As for now, I feel blessed to have this board as a resource. It is the only consistent place I have to go to get help and vent my worries. The people on this board are very supportive and someone always seems to have the answers. And....I've never had one person laugh hysterically at my *stupid* questions. Seems to me, you can't buy counseling and support like that.

E-mail me if you'd like to connect again, afterall, we're both newbies!!

Blessings,
Jeanette/WA


Subject : Press on...God's got a plan for you.
Posted by Theresa (LA) on Sunday, 7 June 1998, at 10:55 p.m., in response to need encouragement, posted by Jeanie on Sunday, 7 June 1998, at 5:05 p.m.

Our youth pastor and his wife are very much against HSing. If I had talked to them before I made my decision, I would have been in your shoes. My dh and I work with the youth group too. The best thing I can tell you is that everyone has an opinion--the lost and the saved. You and your dh pray and seek the Lord and He will direct your path. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If God has called you to do it, it isn't necessarily popular, but what a great calling and many blessings are in store for you.

In Christ,
Theresa

P.S. Check out some of Tamara's articles. You might find something good in there.


Subject : Re: need encouragement
Posted by Lisa,FL on Monday, 8 June 1998, at 6:25 a.m., in response to need encouragement, posted by Jeanie on Sunday, 7 June 1998, at 5:05 p.m.

dear Jeanie,
Hi, I'm in the same place you are, I will be hs'ing in the fall 1st and 6th grade. Both of my kids are straight A, good kids who have been attending private school and I often hear that I will "mess them up" or they won't be able to get into college and on and on. I have to admit that after I ordered their curriculum I panicked! However I then I had to stop and remember that God led me to this point and I relaxed, still we are only human and things people say do bother us, its in those times we just have to hold on to Jesus just a little harder! So here are some real words of encouragement: You can do it! Your kids can do it! Will it all be perfect? No, but then who is?
Take care, Lisa,FL


Subject : Re: need encouragement, honey, you need to hear the truth about homeschooling!
Posted by Kate Megill on Monday, 8 June 1998, at 8:47 a.m., in response to need encouragement, posted by Jeanie on Sunday, 7 June 1998, at 5:05 p.m.

Dear Jeanie,

I haven't read the responses to you yet (I will probably repeat lots of things, so bear with me *grin*). IGNORE WHAT SHE SAID!!! It is obvious she has not done her homework and is spreading rumors of rumors.

Buying used curriculum (our first year of homeschooling we spent $28 for a self-contained kindergarten/first grade curriculum on the first week of creation...it was wonderful and very fun for us all...great for getting your feet wet) can be very cheap. Also, it is MUCH cheaper than spending $200-$300/month for private schools. My sisters who have their children in public schools (in the east coast) have to pay for their own books anyway!!! So where is the "extra" money that you'd be spending???

Having taught in the public school system (and homeschooled for 7 years), I know that homeschooled children have advantages over children in large classroom settings as they are privately tutored.

They will become strong in bridgeing age gaps in being able to play with older and younger children with ease and enjoyment.

They will learn how to respect their elders as this is usually a major focus of the Christian home and it is able to be worked on continually.

They will be able to learn how to work hard and to complete tasks and to recognize a job well done (this should also be an important part of the training that goes on) rather than doing nominal work with no evaluation in order to bolster their self-esteem.

They will gain strong moral and character values as they are trained to see God as the center of creation and to filter all ideas and experiences through the Word and grow in obedience and responsibility with a love for the lost.

They will have respect for people of all ages as this is their concept of correct and normal having not been segregated by age surrounded only by those like themselves in age.

Sweetie, it was good that you came here for support and encouragement. Unfortunately many people who have never homeschooled or spent time with a homeschool family are clueless as to the realities of homeschooling. It is a lot of hard work. There will be days when you ask, "Why was I doing this again?". You will second guess whether or not you are doing the best academically for your children. Remember, don't go to those who don't know about homeschooling for encouragement. Go to those who have "been there/done that". We can help to "talk you down" from those emotional times of stress that EVERYONE goes through (whether or not we homeschool) but may be particular to the homeschool mom.

You and your husband are doing a good and wise thing to embark on this new adventure. Remember as you start that you are running the marathon, and not sprinting. With a marathon runner, there needs to be pacing and recognizing that there will be difficult terrain ahead...prepare for it by going slower and dropping any excess we may be carrying at the time. The sprinter runs fast and hard but he cannot run long. The marathon runner is much slower but with the pacing and looking ahead to plan for the difficulties to be encountered, he is able to endure and complete the race. This is my vision of homeschooling. I am working for the long haul, to endure to the end of the race, so I don't look at the sprinters who might be passing me on a side run. I keep my eyes focused on the Lord who is my guide as I travel the path.

Hope this helps to encourage you... it did me!! *grin*

In His Joy and gRace,
Kate Megill


Subject : Re: need encouragement
Posted by Peggy K on Monday, 8 June 1998, at 7:11 a.m., in response to need encouragement, posted by Jeanie on Sunday, 7 June 1998, at 5:05 p.m.

Jeanie,

Here's some advice from another pastor's wife...

If you believe this to be God's leading for your family...go for it! This is not like the Ten Commandments. Your decision need not be set in stone for a lifetime.

As for cost, don't even think about it...there are so many creative options in obtaining materials, you can spend as much or as little as you choose.

When we began homeschooling it was with the idea that we would evaluate our circumstances every six months and go from there. If it was working and we were satisfied with the results, then we'd continue. If not, then we'd consider admitting our children into a public or private school...

...That was many years ago and our oldest son will be graduating next Sunday, two years early!! He is a well adjusted, bright, happy, contented, godly young man. We are extremely proud of him!

To give you another point of comparison, academically, he succeeded in passing the highschool competency and exit exams given by the state and ACED them all ...this in a state where 40% of the public school children failed them. He also passed the GED with ease.

Social development?....Because of the flexibility afforded through a homeschooling schedule, he's managed to get a job with the local juvenile judge and is working in a courtroom 3 days a week. He's also developed the skills to start his own computer consulting business and has been working for the local banks helping to assess their programming for Y2K problems.

Daniel has a wide ranging group of friends...some in school, some homeschooling, most of them church going friends. They are of varying ages...from adult to four years younger than himself. When we began homeschooling, he was a very shy, reserved young man with a very limited circle of friends. Homeschooling gave him the confidence and security to stretch his boundaries in all areas. He has NEVER given us cause for concern in regard to drinking, drugs, sex, etc. because he has not had the socializing influence that is a standard hazard in our world today through the public schools.

Daniel has had the opportunity to travel to several countries in the world and because of his level of maturity and his social skills, he's been able to safely and securely take advantage of those opportunities. Are these the signs of a socially maladjusted human being?

I do not believe my child to be exceptional in any way...except for the fact that he had the distinct ADVANTAGE of being homeschooled. (grin)

Get a few good homeschooling books to boost your confidence. __Homeschooling for Excellence___ would be one suggestion. I'm sure that there are several people out there who could suggest others that are good.

Where do you live? Get on the internet and find homeschooling support groups that are available in your area...contact some of those people and develop relationships with them. You needn't do this alone. And if by chance there is no support group in your area, consider yourself privelidged to take advantage of the wide range of support available via cyberspace.

You CAN do this, and your children CAN become exceptional, confident, well adjusted, happy human beings through this process called homeschooling. (grin) You may even find that you like them much better than their counterparts in institutionalized education programs!

One last thing...

...homeschooling had not been my idea. My son and husband were the ones who'd made the choice. I was initially a reluctant participant. I knew nothing about homeschooling, except for having some vague memory of having met a homeschooling family of four who'd come to visit our church in the early '80's. I was left with the impression that those children were some of the brightest, socially skilled children I'd ever met! It was because of that, that I was able to consent to making the attempt to try it with our own children. I'M SOOOOOOO GLAD I DID!!

Grace and peace in Christ,

Peggy

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"And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord;
and great shall be the peace of thy children."

Isaiah 54:13